We Don't Care about Your Personality Type

"I am an ENF5P wing 7, TJ, sanguine, charismatic, introverted extrovert, but secretly really extroverted but also introverted, deep, deep, deep waters, 5 wing 4 and you better respect me."

- That Girl Obsessed with Personality Types

If you understand the above quote, chances are, you're deep into the personality type world. That's okay, so am I. Clearly. How else do you think I was able to write the sketch above?

But, I have come to this disheartening realization: no one cares about my personality type as much as I do. And that's okay.

"I just sent you on Instagram the 5 best ways my personality feels loved. So if you could look at those and study those, I would feel very loved."

- That Girl Obsessed with Personality Types

Has someone ever sent you their Enneagram or Myers Briggs personality test results and you didn't feel like reading it? You're not alone. Or, have you ever been scrolling through Instagram and someone posted the 5 best ways their Enneagram type feels loved? Clearly an outcry to be loved. We all want to be known. There is a deep desire in each of us to be thoroughly understood and appreciated. That is the beauty and downfall of personality types. They help us feel acknowledged, known, and accepted. But, if we're not careful, they pigeonhole our personality's full potential and give us excuses for immature behavior.

"Listen I know it seems like I was rude earlier on the phone, but if you would read my Enneagram results, you would know that the 5 wing 4 wing 8 wing 2, communicates that way!"

- That Girl Obsessed with Personality Types

Some people use their personality as an excuse to be overly abrasive, overly quiet, overly loud, or overly anything. The quote above is humurous and extreme, (there are a lot of personality tests that reveal strengths and teach us how to grow past our weaknesses) but the moment we begin using our personality type as rationale for being rude to another person is the moment we've taken it too far. Let's not let our personality types give us the authority to act like children.

"Oh your dad passed away a few years ago? Yeah, makes sense. The way you said that was classic 7 grief."

- That Girl Obsessed with Personality Types

The more we study personality types, the more we think we understand people and that's a dangerous trap. People are the most interesting, fascinating, and creative creatures in the world. Every person is so unique, with completely different experiences and perspectives on life. In reality, there should be 7.7 billion personliaty types, to represent every single person. When we box someone in by their personality type and assume we understand their intentions, we lose the chance to get to know the truest and deepest part of their soul.

"I can't date him. Because he's a 7 and I'm a 7 and that would never work."

- That Girl Obsessed with Personality Types

Personality types might say one thing on paper, but they won't always work that way in real life. You might get along with someone your personality type usually doesn't usually get along with and you might date a type it says you shouldn't date and end up having a healthy relationship. Personality types are a guide but they are not a law and they are certainly not an excuse to hide behind because we're scared to really get to know different kinds of people.

Don't get me wrong, personality tests and the study of human behavior is fascinating and important. When we understand what makes ourselves and others tick, it helps our relationships. If there's a new personality test, I will take it and have my whole family take it. It's fun and educational! But like anything it can be taken too far.

So, in 2021, let's leave the 2020 trend behind of blasting our personality types all over Instagram. Let's say goodbye to using our personality types as excuses for immature behaviors. Let's stop pigeonholing people and expecting them to act a certain way based on their Enneagram. But, let's not leave behind the study of people. Let's use personality types as a loose guide to understand the emotions, intuitions and needs of others and most importantly, ourselves. Because, the more we truly know ourselves, the more we can offer to the world and people!