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We can open our hearts to a larger experience

by sara trif 3 months ago in love / humanity / how to / breakups / art
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Our expectations are intertwined with aspirations, dreams, and assumptions

We can open our hearts to a larger experience
Photo by Artem Maltsev on Unsplash

Many of us are aware that expectations frequently sabotage our actual real-life experiences.

We often have preconceived notions about how events will turn out or how people will treat us, which can cause cognitive dissonance when things don't go as planned.

Sometimes we're not even aware of our expectations. Our expectations are intertwined with aspirations, dreams, and assumptions as they weave in and out of our interactions with the outside world. These expectations are buried deep within us.

When it comes to other people, expecting is one of my major challenges. I always strive to see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt in my daily life. Although I believe this to be a positive quality in many ways, I frequently find that my expectations of others lead to disappointment.

It reminds me of the scene from 500 Days of Summer where Tom attends Summer's party hoping to reunite with her. He leaves the party in despair because the experience doesn't live up to his expectations.

One of the most difficult things in life, in my opinion, is to learn to let go of our high expectations of others, especially when we are in a romantic relationship.

Expectations were similar to expensive pottery. They were more likely to crack the harder you gripped them.

Sanderson, Brandon

Expectations are something that come to us naturally. We shouldn't be shocked when expectations begin to develop because they are a result of our social and emotional needs as humans.

The foundation of most interpersonal relationships is the expectation that the other party would behave in a particular manner, take specific actions, and offer some sort of emotional support.

The key here is to let go of unreasonable expectations that arise rather than getting rid of expectations altogether, as expectations will continue to arise in our lives. We can be astonished when others go above and beyond and show us the kind of affection we need by having lower expectations of them and letting them be who they truly are.

However, maintaining this balance of expectations in partnerships can be challenging. It is necessary to have certain expectations, thus it is crucial to have healthy expectations and let go of bad ones.

Expectations That Are Acceptable

When it comes to a love relationship, you should have some expectations. Without you, it wouldn't be a true partnership and wouldn't have those qualities. You would anticipate a partner you love to keep their promises to you, refrain from dating other people, and be there for you every day with love and support. All of these are prerequisites.

You only get into problems when you start letting your expectations have a detrimental impact on your life.

The best thing you can do while dating or getting to know someone new is to strive to have no expectations, then as that person gains your trust, gradually raise those expectations. Both your expectations and your affection should be earned by the individual in question.

For instance, having unrealistic expectations of a new spouse can bring us into difficulties and hurt us.

Leaving Behind Some Expectations

You should let go of the notion that someone will enhance your self-esteem. There will undoubtedly be occasions when the person you depend on for your emotional health makes you feel horrible about yourself.

The secret to mature relationships is maintaining a firm grip on your own sense of self-worth while simultaneously balancing healthy expectations.

You can identify areas where your expectations may be a little exaggerated or unrealistic by regularly reflecting on your own expectations. After that, we can attempt to alter our perceptions of what others should do for us and why.

Since nobody is flawless, maintaining reasonable expectations might help you build stronger bonds with those around you. This holds true for spouses, lovers, pals, coworkers, and relatives.

We can open our hearts to a larger experience where expectations can guide us, but not control us, in our attempts to become closer to people by learning to perceive expectations for what they are – representations of our desire and a shadow of what we want from the world.

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sara trif

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