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Ways You're Invalidating Your Partner

These are some surefire ways you're invalidating your partner. If you feel these apply to you, you should change how you interact with your partner.

By Jessica HerringPublished 7 years ago 4 min read

In order to be in a happy and healthy relationship, you and your partner should have open communication and be respectful to one another. A partnership is dependent on give and take and treating each other as equals. When you don't treat your partner with respect and don't openly communicate with them it means you're not in a healthy relationship. It may not be obvious to you but there are some clear ways you're invalidating your partner. Abusive relationships are difficult to handle and should be taken seriously.

You're ignoring your partner.

If you are ignoring your partner and not listening to their needs it sends them a clear sign that you want nothing to do with them and do not view them as an equal. Getting the cold shoulder is extremely frustrating and can be avoided with open communication. If you are angry at your partner, tell them your feelings and why you are frustrated instead of blatantly ignoring them.

You're dismissive.

Being dismissive towards your partner is equally as hurtful as ignoring them. You may be briefly talking to your partner but by being extremely disinterested in what they're saying and being short shows you could care less about their feelings. This is one of the most hurtful ways you're invalidating your partner. You are expressing that you don't take them seriously and their feelings are insignificant. If you are dismissive towards your partner there are some things never to say, such as personally attack them or curse at them.

You're consistently putting blame on your partner and pointing our their shortcomings.

If you are usually accusing your partner of wrongdoings that are actually your fault, this is one of the ways you're invalidating your partner. You should take responsibility for your own actions instead of assigning blame to your partner. It's immature and very hurtful to blame your partner for actions that are your fault. Also, you should not ridicule your partner at all of their shortcomings. You should treat them respectfully and not have them fear you. This ridicule can easily turn your partner against you and cause them to be nervous around you.

You're often yelling at your partner.

If you scream at your partner on a daily basis, you're showing that you don't care about their thoughts and feelings. It is extremely hurtful to cut off your partner when they're speaking. This is a terrible type of emotional abuse and can make your partner nervous to talk to you. Yelling at your partner is a sign you might be in a toxic relationship.

You threaten your partner.

If you are giving your partner ultimatums and threatening them, this is definitely one of the ways you're invalidating your partner. This is terrible emotional abuse and can quickly destroy your relationship. Often, you may not understand the extent to which you are threatening your partner but it can lead to severe issues in the relationship. If you are angry at your partner for something you should talk to them nicely and respectfully instead of wrongfully threatening them.

You seek revenge from your partner.

Intentionally trying to hurt your partner but not doing stuff around the house, coming home late, moving out, or being angry at them for a drastic period of time is one of the ways you're invalidating your partner. This may be due to some type of psychological abuse in your childhood but it is not right.

You bring up old events to make them look bad.

If you bring up events in the past that should be forgotten this is one of the ways you're invalidating your partner. You are showing that you would rather be right in an argument than respect your partner and treat them with decency. This is an awful approach to handling a disagreement with your partner because you are bringing up old events to haunt them. Sometimes it is best for the past to stay in the past.

If you refuse to give your partner privacy and read personal texts and emails.

If you do not give your partner the appropriate privacy they deserve then you are invalidating them and not treating them as an equal. If you are suspicious about your partner's actions then you should be up front and tell them about your concerns. There is no need to hack into their phone or computer and read their personal information. If you don't trust your partner enough and feel you need to read their texts and emails to know what is going on in their life you probably should not be with them. Letting go isn't easy but it might be time to move on.

You isolate your partner and try to control their friendships.

If you are usually isolating your partner and restricting them from seeing friends this is one of the ways you're invalidating your partner. You should allow your partner to be themselves and have fun in their free time. It is a parasitic relationship if you intentionally force your partner not to do things that make them happy. In a healthy relationship, you and your partner should both be allowed to see friends as you desire.

You mock your partner.

You and your partner do not need to share the same beliefs but you should not make fun of them for their feelings. If you make fun of them, it shows them you don't take them seriously and don't respect who they are as a person, and that's one of the ways you're invalidating your partner. If you consistently are mocking them and not respecting their thoughts and emotions then it might be time to say goodbye. If you love your partner, you would respectfully tell them you don't agree with their feelings but not ridicule them.


About the Creator

Jessica Herring

I'm passionate about writing and traveling.

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    Jessica HerringWritten by Jessica Herring

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