Warriors battle. Green eyed angel.

Alive again in this darkness in this sad little mattress on the floor that lays in this apartment of mine. Bathing in my sorrows. Soaking in my disappointments, failures and sadness. As i open my eyes today I wish I didn’t. Staring at the ceiling I need to go do something before I do something stupid and end it all. End the pain and everything. a lot of people don’t understand that physical pain is the same as internal pain, it can physically disable you. Now I owe some Guy money, he keeps bugging me, texting me over and over. Well that one thing is probably what will save my life at least for now. As I put my clothes on put my shoes I begin to realize that that dark numbness is slowly creeping in. Now this darkness is something that just comes and you have no control over your body you have no control over anything you just black out and it just takes over your body.it. And in from time to time especially during trying moments in life. anything can happen, in a split second you have no control one moment I could be watching tv next moment I could be downing a bottle of pills. I gotta get out of here. Just putting off the inevitable. As I wait for the bus to go meet this dude, so I can pay him his money and he can stop bugging. To my surprise the bus actually didn’t take forever to come pick me up I get on, I walk to the back right by the exit door. Some man comes up to me trying to hit on me, talking about who knows what I just heard mumbles and jumbles. Kind of like on peanuts how all the adults talk, that’s what it sounded like. He finally realizes that he was just mumbles and jumbles and finally went away. As I continued on the bus I notice this woman. (She was on the entire ride With me and on the complete opposite side of the bus.) wow she’s really beautiful . I hear a ding I turn, and it was her I did not hear any ding the whole way but hers kind of snapped me out of my daze. As the bus stops she grabs her things walks over to the back of the bus about to step off the step and just stops, as though something startled her so she back tracks, just enough to look at me as I looked into her beautiful green eyes and at her beautiful dark skin face she tells me “don’t forget who you are, warrior, and just proceeded to get off bus nothing more.

I wrote this shortly after it happened in first person. I will continue to tell you this story from my perspective now. This was probably the lowest time in my life. I was feeling so lonely. I mean so lonely I had nobody, at least I thought I had nobody. From that day on I realized I was never truly alone. That day I felt the warm embrace of God, of the universe, source whatever you wanna call it’s all the same, we are all one. I felt it and, it hugged me so tight. I don’t know if that lady was an angel, an entity , or some nut bag reading my energy, I don’t know. But I do know that she saved my life, and she let me know I am forgiven, I can live, and most important I am loved. I felt and knew all of this with only those words, that a complete stranger on the bus was kind enough to tell me. I’ll never forget them or her. So if your out there I send my gratitude to you thanks for giving me a chance to live.