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Walking Away From Someone With Mental Illness

When To Leave

By Carly JonesPublished about a year ago 3 min read
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Source: Banyan Mental Health

Loving someone with a mental illness requires a great deal of patience, compassion, understanding, and willingness to recognize that, sometimes, you are going to be giving more than you get. But sometimes, the giver hits the point where they have nothing left to offer. What then? If you have got a loved one with a mental health disorder, you may be constantly encouraged to never give up on them, but what about you? If you are currently going through this internal struggle, below are signs that can indicate when to walk away from someone with a mental illness that might help make things clear.

Mental Illness and Relationships

Whether it is a friend, parent, wife, or husband with mental illness problems, loving someone who struggles with their mental well-being can be difficult. Especially if you have never personally had a similar experience, it can be challenging to relate to how this individual is feeling and therefore empathize.

What’s more, mental illness is often easy to conceal early in a relationship. In some cases, the individual is high-functioning and can temporarily keep a rein on their symptoms, especially in a new relationship. The person they are dating may not even realize they have a mental illness or understand how that illness may affect the relationship over time.

Unfortunately, especially in romantic relationships, the individual whose spouse is mentally ill will experience physical, emotional, or financial abuse. While this is not to say that mental illness makes a person abusive in any way, in many cases – especially in those where the individual doesn’t want to get professional treatment – challenges like abuse are more likely to occur.

While loving someone means you are choosing to support the individual through their struggles and accept their mental illness, you also must remember that you are not responsible for the individual’s condition. Ultimately, only that person can choose whether they want to seek help and learn how to properly cope with their symptoms and be accountable for their actions. Recognizing can further clarify when to walk away from someone with mental illness.

Giving Up On Someone With Mental Illness: When It’s Okay

When it comes to letting go of someone with mental illness, the priority is safety. If physical abuse is present to any degree, especially abuse severe enough to cause you to fear for your life or that of your children, it is important to leave as soon as possible. With that said, in certain cases, it is perfectly okay to leave someone with a mental illness.

Just because someone is mentally ill does not mean they have all rights to your time, attention, or care. Unfortunately, in some cases, people will use their mental health disorders to take advantage of others. Enabling and codependency are also common in relationships with mentally ill people, which can be unhealthy for all parties involved.

  • They are Emotionally, Mentally, or Physically Abusive
  • They Don’t Want to Seek Help Despite the Harm
  • You Feel Bad for Them
  • You Are Resentful, and It Shows
  • You Feel Obligated to Them
  • You Can't See a Future with Them

Don't Wait to Get Help for Recovery

If you're unsure of how to cope with a loved one with mental illness, get help for yourself. There are plenty of online and in-person mental health resources available designed to support the spouses, parents, and children of these individuals. Mental health disorders can impact all parties involved, which is why family support and individual care is crucial when it comes to recovering.

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