Verbal Abuse in a Love Relationship

Words destroy. I miss the words. Especially when they come from the person you love…

We have no idea how much force and power of influence can be hidden in a single word. We have no idea how the few words spoken by one person at a time can change our life and way of thinking in just a few seconds… Words have an influence.

They have a stronger and greater influence than we realize… In love, words have the greatest passage. Words can give life and take lives. Especially in love, words create and give wings. They may as well destroy. And to tear down personalities, to destroy dreams, to cut off your wings, to collapse the earth beneath your feet… In abusive relationships, words do all this frequently.

Frequently thrown negative words unload the one who throws them out of anger, freeing him from some frustration. On the other hand, abusive words steal from the person to whom some positive energy, balance, and peace are addressed.

Words can become depersonalized. Critical words can lead to a loss of self-esteem. Negative words can ruin your confidence. Words full of carelessness and devoid of any affection can make you lose confidence in others, in the ability of others to do good.

Abusive words manipulate. It manipulates your psyche and plays with your well-being. Negative words coming from the one you least expect are humiliating. I miss the words. Abusive words take your breath away. Abusive words make you feel small and unimportant. Words can make you close your eyes in the evening to feel unwanted, unloved, less womanly.

More than silence… Words can be ridiculed with the greatest ease, they can criticize, they can expose disrespect and consideration. In other words, it is easier for you to blame the person next to you. Words can ignore, they can ridicule, they can override someone's opinion.

They can cause deep wounds in the soul. More, worse, worse than any physical injury… Words can give birth to monsters. Or I can give birth to nothing. Which can sometimes be the worst.

When they come from people you love, but not only, words play a magical role. On a day when all the doors close in your face, a sincere "I love you" has the role of opening them all to you again. A compliment like "you are beautiful, beloved" spoken naturally, with the conviction of the one in love with the woman of his life, makes you feel the most beautiful woman on earth.

If you have some hesitations and slight traces of doubt, an "I trust you" from your partner strengthens your confidence. If you make a mistake, a "nothing happens, it still happens" helps you get rid of any guilt and take concrete action to redeem the mistake.

But what happens when the person who declared your unconditional love declares your love only conditionally when for example you prepare his favorite dish or you make time for a "visit to your mother"? What happens when you frequently hear "I love you IF YES", I love you IF NO "What happens when the man who told you he loves every particle of you doesn't even blink when he makes you" fat "," bad "or "Inappropriate" in front of acquaintances?

What happens when in intimacy the man who dreamed of the nights on your skin and your touch tells you that he can no longer touch you because of the ham left after your birth? What happens when the person you love and with whom you share your existence only blames you, frequently accusing you of all the problems in your relationship?

Can't you believe you're all that he says about you? If the loved one tramples on our feelings and minimizes our importance, do we not end up stifling our feelings and feeling useless, insignificant?

Verbal abuse does not seem as serious as emotional or physical abuse because the chosen method is much more subtle, and the manifestations of violence are not necessarily present. But after long periods of repeated verbal abuse, the person's psyche and identity may be severely shaken, and the sense of reality may be decisively disrupted.

Many women who are victims of verbal abuse tend to deny verbal abuse and self-denial extremely, trying to convince themselves that the abuser would not intentionally say anything that would hurt or hurt them. it hurts them.

They even tend to assume the abuser's behavior, leading them to believe that they may have done something wrong that led to verbal abuse. How many times have you heard or said, "One day it will change."

"And never change…”

Recent psychological studies have shown that the abuser and the victim of verbal abuse live in two different worlds. The abuser believes that he is entitled to use critical or offensive words, feeling the need to take control (even if only verbally) so that he does not have to deal with his feelings of worthlessness. The verbally abusive man never takes responsibility for the words he throws.

Also, the abuse and verbal manipulation can take place only when the two are together, and in the eyes of the others, the abuser can always pass as a charming person, of impeccable behavior. By abusing words, manipulating them ugly, insulting, critical or derogatory, the verbally abusive man tries to impose himself and demonstrate his superiority and power.

The undeclared, perhaps even unconscious, the purpose of her words is to make her partner so powerless that she needs her power. Or become so powerless that they never have the strength to leave him.

Even if the psychic killer words come from the man you love, stop being a victim of verbal abuse. Use the word in your defense! Use silence! Don't close your eyes to what is happening to you!

The best way to get rid of verbal or emotional abuse is to do what the abuser would never see you do: leave. Regardless of the form in which the abuse takes place, start from a relationship that does you more harm than good! Find that power that the abuser is trying to silence!