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Unhappy marriage can start over

by leoni lotti 2 months ago in marriage
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I don't know who I love in my heart, very sad

Unhappy marriage can start over
Photo by Sam Manns on Unsplash

All the beautiful things in this world are unique, just like true love, because the only so beautiful. The heart belongs to, love for one person, as long as the two love each other, before the eyes are beautiful.

The first thing that you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do. Once there is a third person in love, it is difficult to have a good love, and it will not last.

This truth is understood by everyone, but very often, not everyone can do it.

In the morning, I listened to a woman tell a poignant story: What do you think love is really like? Why do I have the feeling of loving two people, is this love? If both of them are good to me, how should I choose?

This woman is a second marriage, married for 3 years, the child is 3 years old. Now she and her husband do not have a good relationship, always feel that her husband does not understand her, do not understand her. Thinking back on these 3 years, she regrets marrying her husband.

Since the last 1 year, her husband not only suspects her of having second thoughts about her relationship, but also always puts divorce on his lips. Whenever she came home late from work, her husband would ask questions and kept asking where she had been.

The husband suspected her of having someone outside and later caught the evidence. She had cheated on him and was so upset that she gradually felt that the marriage was impossible to live in. If possible, she would like to choose a new man who is good to her for life.


She said: I can't say enough about my grievances for one day, my husband is not the right person for me. There are currently two men who are very serious about me and are pursuing me. One is my ex-husband, whom I still love. The other is my colleague, also very good to me, I do not know who to choose. If both of them never get married in their lifetime, I would be willing to be infatuated with them forever. It's sad to think that I always have to choose one in the future ......

First. The first marriage was defeated by children

I'm going to tell you a little bit about this lady's marriage, love experience. In today's marriages, this type of situation is very common.

For those who believe in love, some of what she did was simply upside down!

But let's also admit that there are many people who have been in her shoes. There are many suitors around, but do not know who to love.

When eating the bowl looking at the pot, for love is too greedy, but always uncertain of the idea. It took a long time to finally make up my mind to marry someone, but I ended up feeling married to the wrong person ......

To say a very realistic word: in today's marriage environment, many people do not choose a person for love, such as this lady!

Let's call her Xiaoxia, 32 years old, second marriage for 3 years. In the two marriages, she has a child each.

In the first marriage, Xiaoxia and her husband were very good feelings. But later, because her husband was too good to her mother-in-law, Xiaoxia's heart was very stifled. She often quarreled with her husband, moving to say that he was not as good as her ex-boyfriend.

One day the couple quarreled again, Xiaoxia gambled and ran away from home. This time she did not go home, but took the train to go abroad, back to the university ex-boyfriend.

Because of Xiaoxia's arrival, the relationship that had ended several years ago was suddenly revived and Xiaoxia fell in love with her ex-boyfriend all over again. Even if there is a family with children, she still love without rebellion.

Xiaoxia stayed with her ex-boyfriend for 3 months and refused to go home. Her parents couldn't stand it and after some inquiries, they finally found out her ex-boyfriend's address.

In the husband's leadership, Xiaoxia's parents and in-laws personally set out to pull Xiaoxia back from her ex-boyfriend's home. Although Xiaoxia returned home, but separated for more than 3 months, the couple's feelings have been completely broken.

Even so, the husband still did not divorce. He was willing to give Xiaoxia one last chance, if not to live a good life again, then each let go.

Xiaoxia cried her heart out and said she would live a good life. However, except for Xiaoxia, no one knew she was pregnant.

One day it could not be hidden anymore, Xiaoxia confessed to her husband: I am sorry, I know you are good to me. But the marriage can not live, I have his child ......

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get back to the family, but the child is innocent. Since my husband wouldn't let me have one, I had to leave him and choose someone who would let me have one.

Second, She divorced her husband and married her ex-boyfriend

After learning that Xiaoxia and her ex-boyfriend were pregnant with a baby, Xiaoxia's husband was very sad. He even knelt down and begged Xiaoxia to give up, begging her not to leave.

In Xiaoxia's account, her husband was only briefly cranky for half a day, and then he begged Xiaoxia for several days in a row to give up the baby. Xiaoxia felt that her husband was too cowardly a person and no longer worthy of her love.

Xiaoxia made a request: my ex-boyfriend and I are true feelings, if not you, I would not have broken up with him. This child I must give birth to, if you do not agree, then divorce. If you agree, let's keep the secret, will not let you lose face ......

In the final moments of this marriage, the husband chose dignity. He agreed to Xiaoxia's divorce request, and Xiaoxia netted out.

Xiaoxia recalled: at that time, although I spoke a little hard, but I was only to test him, and did not really want to leave. If he continues to retain me for a few days, I will not divorce. Unfortunately, he did not understand me, and we had to divorce.

Even after making her mother very sick, Xiaoxia still defied everything and divorced ruthlessly. For the sake of the so-called love, she chose to do what I want.

In Xiaoxia's words: I own the matter, I bear all the consequences. I know who I love and who I don't love, and I don't need anyone to control me! I only love my ex-boyfriend, and I only want to live with him for the rest of my life.

More than 5 years of marriage ended, the husband became the ex-husband. The marriage had a daughter, the couple loved one, but did not love the head.

After the divorce, the ex-boyfriend personally came to pick up Xiaoxia by car, and she stayed with her pregnant ex-boyfriend's family. The ex-boyfriend's parents were very kind to Xiaoxia, and the two old men spent all day asking questions and urging them to register.

Not long after, Xiaoxia and her ex-boyfriend registered to get married. Although there was no wedding, but the ex-boyfriend became Xiaoxia's husband, and Xiaoxia also felt very happy ......

In Xiaoxia's narrative, she and her ex-boyfriend knew each other's roots and fell in love during college. Although broken up for 5 years, but after the divorce lovers finally became a couple. This is destiny, no one can stop it!

Xiaoxia said: when I graduated from college, my family urged me to go on a blind date. In fact, I can not let go of my boyfriend, but he can not afford to buy a house, I can only marry someone who has a house. It is said that no house will suffer, when the breakup is also no way things, can not say that I am hard-hearted. Fortunately, my ex-boyfriend understood me, so my second marriage chose him. Round and round, we are still together.

Third, she said, the second marriage is even less happy

Xiaoxia's marriage emotional development logic is clear, according to the timeline to rationalize a:.

After graduating from college, Xiaoxia went on a blind date and met her husband (now ex-husband) who had a house. In order not to suffer in the future, she and her boyfriend broke up and turned around and married her husband who had a house.

Later in that marriage, Xiaoxia felt that her mother-in-law was not good to her and her husband did not love her. The more aggravated she was, the more she talked to her ex-boyfriend occasionally. As time goes by, Xiaoxia feels she married the wrong person and should not have married her husband for the sake of the house.

In the heart of Xiaoxia at that time, the best person for himself was his ex-boyfriend.

As Xiaoxia holds her phone and her ex-boyfriend chatting all day and night, her husband is very angry and the couple often quarrels. One day Xiaoxia left home in a fit of anger and went to see her ex-boyfriend. 5 years after she had not seen him, her ex-boyfriend was still single and she fell in love with him all over again.

In those days, even if her husband and parents called all day, Xiaoxia did not want to go home. She and her ex-boyfriend lived together for 3 months.

Because she was too close to her ex-boyfriend, she accidentally had a baby. After her first marriage ended, she went along with it and married her ex-boyfriend ......

Today, Xiaoxia and her ex-boyfriend have been married for 3 years and their child is 3 years old. In Xiaoxia's mind, she gradually discovered over these 3 years that the marriage was even less happy.

Xiaoxia said: her husband (the current) still can not afford to buy a house, I live with him very exhausted. But even if life is like this, I do not complain. Unfortunately, he does not know how to cherish, he even suspected that I have second thoughts, asking questions all day long, I am very annoyed with him. I'm not afraid of a bit of hardship in life, but I'm afraid my husband will misunderstand me. I am really aggrieved, do not want to live with him ......

Since the middle of last year, Xiaoxia overnight shift by colleagues sent back that night, her husband has always suspected her heart someone, just no evidence. The husband accused Xiaoxia of cheating, and Xiaoxia said her husband was suspicious. Because of the emotional suspicion, the couple has been arguing off and on for nearly a year.

Xiaoxia said: my colleague and I are just ordinary buddies, not as bad as my husband imagined. I'm not a good husband to have an attitude. 3 years ago I left my perfect family behind to marry him, and he suspected me of infidelity, I can not feel bad!

Xiaoxia said: the other day, I think our fate is over, after all these experiences, I realized that my husband is not a good person. Both ex-husband and colleagues, are many times better than him.

Fourth, want to divorce, but do not know who to choose to remarry

In Xiaoxia's second marriage, the more difficult the day. Because her husband suspected her all day long, she gambled to "fulfill" her husband's idea.

Xiaoxia recalls: Although I did something wrong, but it was all forced by him. Since he said that I cheated, if I do not fulfill him, I look down on myself. I don't want to be wronged by my husband for nothing, or I can suffocate.

As early as six months ago, Xiaoxia cheated.

In her narrative, the day she complained to a colleague: My husband said I have a relationship with you, so let's have a real relationship ......

1 month ago, the husband finally caught the evidence. He beat Xiaoxia, who refused to admit her fault. After receiving a few slaps, she felt completely see through him.

Xiaoxia recalls: her husband only knows that I made a mistake, but does not know my heart's grievances. I married him what ah, just want him to be good to me! If he didn't suspect me and didn't talk to me all day, I could have made a mistake. It's all his fault!

That day Xiaoxia proposed a divorce, her husband's attitude suddenly softened down. In Xiaoxia's account, her husband, like her ex-husband, went so far as to say that he wanted to forgive himself.

Xiaoxia said: I do not care about his forgiveness, since married the wrong person, it should correct this mistake, divorce is good for us both. This month, my husband occasionally hit me, hit after the apology, after the apology will continue to doubt me. I'm really fed up, we are tired of living. I gradually missed my ex-husband, and 2 weeks ago I got in touch with him. He said he still loves me, his family's door is always open for me, I hope I go back to remarry.

The ex-husband's words evoked the sadness in Xiaoxia's heart and the romantic past. She went back home to meet with her ex-husband in the name of seeing her children, and lived together for 5 days.

Xiaoxia said: I am now difficult to choose, colleagues are not married, every day begging me to marry him, but also said this year to buy a house. Ex-husband also did not remarry, has been begging me to remarry. I am afraid of regretting again and dare not make a choice easily. In my heart, I like my colleague a little more, but my ex-husband and I still have children, together is more appropriate. I can not decide, these days very torn.

Fifth, some people are not suitable for marriage

About 3 or 4 days ago, Xiaoxia came home a few days ago and her husband again quarreled, and left home in the evening in a fit of rage.

That night, her husband also spoke a bit hard, he did not chase out, but gambled and said "you have the ability to never come home"!

Xiaoxia's heart is more aggrieved, do not return home, she directly to colleagues to complain. The colleague promised her that if she needed help, he could teach her husband a lesson first. Xiaoxia refused the colleague's help and just wanted to divorce her husband peacefully.

Xiaoxia said: I am benevolent to the end, I have proposed a divorce, but my husband does not agree. No matter what, I have to get divorced. When I regain my singleness, I will slowly test colleagues and ex-husband, who is good to me in the future, I will marry who ......

Xiaoxia also said: I hope this time I can polish my eyes, more patience, to run a good marriage. If the marriage is not good, the most suffering is a weak woman like me. I've suffered enough, it's time to taste the sweet.

This is the end of Xiaoxia's marriage case, her emotional story is far from over.

In her narrative, she and her husband couldn't live anymore. As for whether to choose her ex-husband or the unmarried colleague in the future, the decision will be made after the test is over.

The date of this case is the day before I write this article, rationally speaking, Xiaoxia belongs to the kind of "pursuit of perfection" of women. But in the end, this pursuit is just self-deception.

Of course, this kind of person is not worth piercing, see through not say through.

A lot of lies, cheating and also like to play the poor woman, how to turn black and white, but also has long been unworthy of real love. The person who actively abandons his family can no longer presume to have a happy marriage.

Some people are not suitable for marriage, as Xiaoxia such people, and who will not be happy together.

Sixth, a mountain looking at a mountain, no conscience

Love and marriage need to adapt, and a person to come together to live a life, it should be family oriented.

If a person does not even put the family in the eyes, what is the use of marriage? Since the family can not even want, then what marriage?

Some people are single for life is most appropriate, the future never have to worry and aggravation.

As the saying goes, a mountain looks at a mountain high, this mountain is still higher than that mountain. After the back of the mountain to look at the front of the mountain, the front of the mountain is still higher than the back of the mountain. Back to the front of the mountain to look at the back of the mountain, the back of the mountain and higher than the front of the mountain. In a flash, the waste of youth, the bottom of the valley, there is no mountain in front of you.

Marriage is also a kind of life relationship that treats each other sincerely, there is no absolutely suitable lovers, only to see if they can keep their conscience. In the relationship between husband and wife, once the conscience is lost, it can never be picked up again.


About the author

leoni lotti

A person's value should be judged by what he contributes, not by what he achieves

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