Humans logo


~ You Just Know ~

By Jay KantorPublished 9 months ago Updated 3 months ago 5 min read
Kantor Love Letters - Snail Mail


~ You Just Know ~

If people were to admit it to be so, most aren't even honest with themselves, what really attracts those to the opposite sex or neutral sex for that matter? Do we have a 'Choice' – Our heads rarely listen to our hearts! What comes 'naturally' – what does the heart want? It will tell you what to do. But 'scent' is what attracts (pheromones) me most; the aroma. If I were to say blue eyed blond, you'd think I was just an eye man; nothing more. Some say personality and others have 'lists' of attraction-explanations. When being 'honest' interested parties 1st have to get past initial physical-attraction. I believe most people have preferences when it comes to physical attributes, but oftentimes other qualities override these considerations, of course.

Observation: Every culture has 'generational' statements to make. Example: Beatles' Floppy Haircuts to the 'Zoot Suit' barrio flamboyant-fashion craze from the 40's. Of late Gen-Couples are made-up of less traditional 'statements' along with same sex marriages, with little emphasizes on Race-Creed (Ideology) – Peer Influences.

Even Mom's upbringing-teachings-urgings aren't heeded much; tats-piercings, et cetera – Ah, the cross Mom has to bear. Dear Abby would most likely say, these 'couplings' seem to be working for most? Not a lot of judgments going on of late; live and let live. Odd to me though why diverse-cultures seem to prefer to still 'stick together' in their own neighborhoods, due to language and cultural differences, never to reach out; the melting pot seems to keep getting even thinner! The world is a much nicer place than the evening news would have you believe!

From food to music genre we all have 'tastes' - who's right? Like apples and oranges, each is good, but different.

Do you know a couple that everyone thinks shouldn't be together, but somehow, they make it work? Have you thought someone was just your 'TYPE' but it turned out that what initially attracted you became a source of irritation?

As an admitted 'noted' shallow man that may be attracted to Girl-Parts before anything else. While in my 'Yute that M.O. never really worked out for me in the long run — Superficial!

Darcy, lifetime friend, featured fabulous artist & 'Quipster' in my stories said, Quote: "Have to wonder how in the world you met such 'Mercenary' women! Geesh!" I know I've always been a slow learner when it comes to the opposite sex, often just easier to go along-to get along, Lesson Learned.

Lessons Learned Dating Standouts: Can you relate?

Little things mean a lot: Step High! 1st date with Maureen I called her "Mo" {1} time and she was so turned off by that-that was it! Really! –'No-Mo-Mo'– Transferred-Aggression? Go Figure?

I once had a Girlfriend that each time we attended any type of function; business or personal. She would leave me, without even a nod, and visit with everyone in the room, but me! Talk about a turn-off in the 'importance-priority' department — We didn't last long.

With another woman, we would go on weekend trips—she wouldn't 'allow' me to put the top down; no messed hair-here! Often when we went out to eat she wouldn't want the same food as me; no compromise. I'd just drop her off at a café of her choice and go to my favorite Greasy-Spoon, then pick her up later. Yes, unimaginable! I'm embarrassed to admit this! No 'compatibility' there. But while @ the 'Greasy-Spoon' I met someone; a Negative turned Positive {+/-}

Oh, this same woman never picked up a check—for anything—even as a gesture. And she earned a huge income; thought the 'Man' was obligated. Am I the only one who may have endured this 'archaic' regime? No financial biggie to me. But, obviously it bothered me a lot. I never said anything, since, as a Doctor, if she didn't notice or care I would have wasted my words! Brains & Beauty — No 'Grace.' She did me a favor, when I met my wife, she was the exact opposite — Takes one to know one!

— Short-Sighted —

Once upon a time I went on a 1st date with a nice lady. Although, very odd/and very obviously, she sat-on both of her hands throughout dinner. I didn't say anything, but the next day I drove across town to a well known beauty shop. I then gave my credit card number to the Manager and asked her to phone this woman to ask her to come in for a 'manicure' treat.

—NOT to embarrass her - I just wanted to be a gentleman—

She went into the salon the next day. While at the shop she gathered all sorts of hair products from the shelves. So, the Manager called me to ask if it was ok to put an extra $200 on my credit card?

I told the Manager to go ahead and I approved the charge. And, told her, "Cheap-Enough 1st Date," Manager laughed and agreed! Said that, "She deals with this sort of thing all of the time...that's why she called me for approval." Kudos to the way the Manager personally handled this. I wrote a lovely 'Yelp' review on behalf of her Salon. Google sent me a Thank You showing 1000+ hits — Apparently others could relate: This kind of thing ever happen to you?

We didn't have a 2nd date. Girl wasn't happy about that! Passing on kindness doesn't always work out.

I have touched on this 'topic' within a couple of my articles since it has always been an enigma to me. Certainly this generation has a more efficient way of making contacts through the dating-sites that will at least give a glimpse of what may be in store – minus the 'Scent.' Our generation met through setups – especially from Mom – "Have I got a girl for you" as well as quick meets in cafes-bars.

'Grace' ~ My Biggie!

Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, Cal

'Senior' Vocal Author


About the Creator

Jay Kantor

Retired: Write for "The Kids Someday"

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights


There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2023 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.