Turning Life’s Struggles into Positives

Life events bring out the best in people and sometimes during busy, stressful times or simply in the course of an average day, people’s efforts, the everyday actions of getting through a day, remain unnoticed. Why? Because we are trying to survive.

I woke up in the middle of the night with concerns rolling through my head. Like movie credits, names of people scrolled before my eyes. Unfortunately, I associated each with a recent concern which sparked worry raising my anxiety.

So I consciously forced my brain to alter the perspective. This worked like counting chicken by relaxing me and inducing slumber, eventually. As faces of people appeared on the back of eyelids, I conjured a positive memory of a recent event.

In the middle of the night, I took some time to pay tribute to individuals who make each day a little better.

The Housekeepers

Yesterday, a woman shared the trials of trying to keep her house clean while being confined for days on end. She offered assurances that she really does clean the areas in her path but behind her life continues. And life brings messes in the form of dirty dishes, pieces of dog food, apple cores, piles of toys, laundry and so much more.

At the end of the day, she sent me a picture of one clean room. A picture of that room with her children covered in a blanket with Disney characters, cuddled on her lap, watching a movie relaxed my shoulders.

The Cooks

Hotdogs, casseroles, crockpot meals, tacos, spaghetti, and chicken fingers complete the list of foods to serve each week. Meals rotate through what the kids will eat, should eat and whatever remains in the fridge.

A friend borrowed some flour yesterday. I placed it on the front step to maintain social distancing. In return, she shared some refreshing lemon bars. Oh, the memories of how we once took for granted the fast-food restaurants, take-out, and fine dining.

My taste buds relieved the sensation of a tart lemon filling on a flaky crust, lightly feathered with powdered sugar. Overwhelmed by satisfaction, some stress floated away.

The Mothers

Reading social media elevates my understanding of what it is like to be parent and playmate to children these days. When kids played outside with friends, mom’s savored alone time. When kids visited a friend’s house, parents communicated without little ears. When kids welcomed a friend into the playroom, dads experienced moments to regroup as they prepared for the next adventure. When kids interacted with friends at daycare, they exerted energy that made them tired and ready for bed in the evening.

I heard the exhaustion in a woman’s voice when she shared attempts to keep her three-year-old busy without bribing her with food, turning on the TV or setting her in front of a screen.

I pictured the face of the child in the background when we Faced Timed. Her adoring eyes watched her mom; she giggled when the dog licked some jelly off her fingers; the colors of contentedness smeared across her face announced what she ate for lunch. The image tempered my worry for her family, and I pulled the quilt around my neck.

The Teachers

Teacher friends balance their children on their hips as they prepare lessons, participate in conference calls, and communicate with students on the phone and email. One educator relayed a conversation she had with a student with concern in her voice.

I heard a story of a 17-year-old who had not seen her mother, who was quarantined with coronavirus, in two weeks and was grieving the loss of her grandmother who suffered in ICU with the save infection. The teacher’s voice cracked when she explained how she offered comfort and then explained the assignment. She asked me, “What was I supposed to do?”

I responded with two words, “Love them.” Recognizing actions could not always provide a remedy, my words of encouragement to her returned to provide peace and a soothing feeling of contentment for me.

The Students

They study with limited resources exerting effort to learn the concepts and complete the assignments. In truth, school work provides relief from reality as they read, write, and digest information but not without added stress.

As a new system currently develops, they attempt to relax and accept the unfolding new normal. Recently as I tutored, a young lady vocalized frustration. I offered my interpretation and suggestions. Reassuring her that in these strange times, we can only give our best and should be proud of our accomplishments.

My own words echoed in my mind, “We can only give our best and should be proud of our accomplishments.” I accepted my advice, pulled my pillow under my chin and drifted off to sleep.

This morning I work up with these warriors on my mind. They illustrate a sampling of the individuals who touch my life and remind me that we are a community of support.

As I laid in bed, I pushed worry away by replacing it with the faces of dedicated, inspirational, compassionate people I know reminding me that perspective is the remedy for sleepless nights.

"Make lemons out of lemonade ."

"Acknowledge the glass is half full — not empty ."

"The sun will come out tomorrow ."

Final Word

The examples I shared are all one person. It is important to remember at this time we can not isolate our roles. We are required to be everything to everyone at the same time.

We are the housekeepers, the cooks, the mothers, the teachers, and the students (not to mention the other roles of our lives). Be understanding of the conflicts others experience, and be lenient always allowing ourselves to be human.

To my daughter, keep up the magnificent work. You are loved — to the moon and back.