Survive Living in a Small Space Without Killing Your Partner by Laughing

Marriage is hard work. I could venture into stories of why but those tales would only dissuade couples from saying, "I do." Instead the stories I share prove that every moment of living with the person you love is worth the struggle. Besides, if you are married you have your own stories to prove my point. If you are planning a marriage, you are too smitten to accept the fact there will be days you'll wish you weren't. No matter your marital status, the secret to a long and happy marriage is laughter. 

Laughing is a natural instinct. Six year olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15–100 time's a day. The secret to a happy marriage is to act like a six year old and view life through the lens of a child. 

Easier said than done. In the midst of frustration, how can negative energy be turned positive? 

Search for the humor - together.

I remember the morning my husband without thinking blurted out, "You look like an old grandma when you wear that." I wore an old, flannel shirt. His words could easily have sparked an argument. Well to be honest, for a bit I did pout a little but eventually, I realized he didn't mean any harm, and the incident sparked humor. When we began to laugh at his statement, I wrote a humorous story that many couples can relate to. 

Randy never means to make fun of me. He is human and sometimes the construction of sentences sound different when spoken out loud. I have found myself in similar situations. When learning to golf under Randy's tutelage left me fatigued, he used his positive attitude, humor and constructive criticism to provide encouragement. In return, I smiled, laughed, walked ahead and muttered, "dumb-ass!" 

Sometimes, discovering the humor doesn't occur immediately. Sometimes, it is difficult to move from a place of a personal emotional response to a safe, nonjudgmental acceptance of the content of the message and not the words stated. Thank goodness, Randy didn't hear my muttering on the golf course because a wonderful day would have melted into a confrontation. Instead, I threw blackberries in his directions, pretended to see his face on the ball, and swung as hard as I could. At the end of the day, I wrote a story of the incident and we laughed. Now we play golf weekly and cherish our time together.

It is easy to misconstrue the purpose of laughter. When I hurriedly steam ironed my blouse while wearing it and burned my belly, Randy at first consoled me but then he laughed. I couldn't help but laugh with him when I thought of the lucidity of my actions. We laughed as we talked about how consumers require warning tags on everything but yet, I fell prey to not acting before thinking. When I thought about suing the maker of the steam iron, I decided not to because then I would have to confess in front of the world what I did. The laughter didn't take away the discomfort, but it helped.

Sometimes, discovering the humor doesn't occur immediately. Sometimes, it is difficult to move beyond a personal emotional response to a safe, nonjudgmental acceptance of the content of the message and not the words stated. Thank goodness, Randy didn't hear my muttering on the golf course because a wonderful day would have melted into a confrontation. Instead, I threw blackberries in his directions, pretended to see his face on the ball, and swung as hard as I could. Now we play golf weekly and cherish our time together.

Cohabitating in a small space intensifies the need to laugh. When I forgot to put the pot on the hotplate and coffee poured onto the floor, we laughed. I could have spiraled into self-pity but we accept each other as human instead of showing irritation, Randy laughed, shook his head and helped me clean up the mess. 

When Randy peed on the bathroom walls because I slammed on the brakes in rush hour traffic, we laughed. From that event I found the material for a humorous story that many people have enjoyed. However, I did tell him, "I told you so," and I refuse to drive the RV in busy traffic even if he has to use the restroom REALLY bad.

When our Cisco, our pup, puked in our bed, the problem could have turned ugly if we had blamed, accused or not worked in unison to clean up the mess. The mishaps of life are easier to handle when we support each other.

The book title, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus describes our married life. When we old a blanket, he turns the edges under, I turn them under so we laugh. When I give directions to locate something and he looks everywhere else and blames me for not knowing my right from my left, we laugh. We accept each other with the understanding that we see the world differently.

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Randy and I love to travel and are always looking for reasons to laugh. We invite you to ride along by following us on RVing in Retirement.

You can read some of our stories and laugh with us by following this link.