Transforming Youth

Yes, I played basketball. I vividly recall the day my life shifted forever, without my realizing it. It was April 26th, and I was 18, in the gym, engrossed in a podcast—my usual workout companion. Then, a statement from the podcast guest caught my attention, one I'd heard many times from psychologists, activists, authors, and leaders: "If I had the same mindset now as I did in my teens or 20s, I’d be miserable." These words, usually delivered with a chuckle, saddened me. I was about to start college; I didn't want to be miserable. I felt irritated—I refused to accept misery.

My determination stemmed partly from a recent personal loss—my father's passing just five months earlier from ALS, after a six-year battle. That experience taught me the unpredictability of life and reinforced my resolve never to hate any moment of it. As I stewed over this, another thought gnawed at me: why aren't these personal development insights aimed more directly at young people? Weren't we the ones who needed guidance on growth, mindfulness, and managing emotions the most?

Over the next decade, as I navigated choosing a career, finding a life partner, managing finances, and making decisions with lifelong consequences, the prevailing advice was always the same: "You've got time. You'll figure it out." While momentarily soothing, this advice provided little practical help with the anxiety of navigating major life choices.

That day in the gym marked a turning point. I resolved to change the narrative surrounding what the teenage and 20s experience could and should be. Fast forward to today, after further study, it turns out teenage Libby had valid points, backed by neuroscience.

Firstly, how we train our brains in our 20s significantly impacts our future well-being. Think of your brain like a complex system of roads—the more you travel certain routes (habits and behaviors), the more ingrained they become. Hence, choosing the right mental paths now is crucial—it's far harder to rewire deeply ingrained habits later in life.

Secondly, our emotional and mental health in our 20s shape critical life decisions. Clinical psychologist Meg J., in her book "The Defining Decade," highlights that 85% of life's most pivotal moments occur before age 35. Our 20s coincide with peak childbearing years, career establishment, and substantial brain development. These statistics underscore the importance of decisions made during this formative period.

While these are statistical trends rather than absolute rules, they underscore that our 20s are not merely a time of experimentation—they set the stage for our future. To better understand these dynamics beyond statistics, I embarked on a journey to engage directly with today's teens and 20-somethings.

I authored a book addressing their pressing questions, launched a podcast covering topics neglected by conventional education, and created an online platform reaching millions globally. These efforts aimed to bridge the gap in emotional and decision-making skills training that traditional education often overlooks.

What emerged from my interactions with young adults was a consistent theme: many felt at war with their own minds. This internal struggle wasn't merely a product of 21st-century challenges but a historical neglect of emotional development in education and society at large.

Emotional skills aren't mere "soft skills"; they are transformative—capable of changing lives, saving lives, and reshaping society. However, effecting widespread societal change is challenging. Through my work, I identified three core pillars essential for fostering emotional intelligence, sound decision-making, and empathetic personal growth among young adults.

Pillar 1: Unlearning

We must shed unhelpful social constructs that burden today's youth. Concepts like grades defining intelligence, or the notion that youth should be carefree and ignorant, hold them back. Instead, I advocate for living in alignment with one's core values—a path to true fulfillment.

Pillar 2: Being

To design an authentic life, we must become more self-aware and mentally resilient. Techniques like therapy, journaling, meditation, and intentional learning are vital not just for personal growth but for building a solid foundation for life.

Pillar 3: Doing

Taking action is crucial. Bold changes, whether leaving a job, coming out, or ending an unhealthy relationship, may seem daunting but often lead to profound peace and alignment with one's true self.

These concepts, while not revolutionary, have yielded transformative results when shared with young people. I receive messages daily from individuals whose lives have been positively impacted by these principles—testimonials of reduced stress, renewed courage, and life-saving insights.

Breaking the cycle of inadequate emotional and mental skills is essential for alleviating societal suffering. To every young person: your 20s need not be confusing or miserable. Start your journey of growth and responsibility now—don't wait for a crisis to spark change. Embrace radical responsibility early, where true joy and fulfillment await.

In spreading these ideas, my message is clear: the sooner you grow, the better. Thank you.