The secret of living a happy Life

I have this Facebook friend whose life seems flawless. She lives in a stunning house, enjoys a fulfilling career, and her family embarks on exciting weekend adventures together. It's as if they always have a professional photographer capturing their every moment because they all look picture-perfect, no matter where they are or what they do. She frequently posts about how blessed and grateful she feels for her life. I'm sure many of you have a friend like that, right? And sometimes, let's admit it, we can't help but feel a pang of envy towards them.

We all engage in this, don't we? It's almost unavoidable. But this mindset comes at a cost, and that's what I want to discuss today: the price we pay for our negative habits. Maybe you've scrolled through your Facebook feed, rolled your eyes, and thought, "What harm does it do? It's just five seconds of my time." Well, studies show that envying others on social media can actually lead to feelings of depression. This is just one of the traps our minds set for us.

Have you ever caught yourself complaining about your boss or wondering why others seem luckier than you? It's natural to think this way, and in the moment, it might even provide some relief. However, these thoughts erode our mental resilience over time. There are three types of damaging beliefs that undermine our effectiveness and rob us of mental strength.

Firstly, unhealthy beliefs about ourselves. We often indulge in self-pity, exaggerating our misfortunes by thinking, "Why does this always happen to me?" This kind of thinking keeps us stuck, fixated on the problem rather than seeking solutions. Even when a solution isn't within our control, we can still take steps to improve our lives or help others, but self-pity blinds us to these opportunities.

Secondly, unhealthy beliefs about others. We may feel others control us, surrendering our power when we say things like, "I have to work late," or "My mother-in-law drives me crazy." We forget that we have choices in how we respond to people and situations. Taking ownership of our reactions empowers us.

Lastly, unhealthy beliefs about the world. We often feel entitled, expecting rewards for our efforts or believing life owes us something. However, life doesn't operate on such principles of fairness. Embracing this truth liberates us from disappointment and allows us to focus on what we can control.

Changing these entrenched mental habits isn't easy. I learned this firsthand during a challenging period in my life. At 23, I thought I had everything figured out—career, marriage, home. But tragedy struck when my mother suddenly passed away. This was followed by the unexpected loss of my husband a few years later. These losses tested me beyond measure, forcing me to confront my own mental weaknesses.

During this dark time, I realized that relying solely on good habits wasn't enough. I had to identify and discard even the smallest bad habits that held me back. Despite the pain, I clung to hope that life could improve, and eventually it did. I remarried, relocated, and found a new job. Yet, just when I thought I had found stability, my new husband's father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Once again, I faced the temptation to slip into self-pity and resentment.

But I knew I couldn't afford to indulge in these destructive thoughts. Instead, I created a list of habits mentally strong people avoid and read it frequently to remind myself of the pitfalls to avoid. This list became my guide to staying mentally resilient through yet another trial.

I've witnessed firsthand the transformative power of changing one's mental habits. I once worked with a man whose belief in his inevitable health decline led to neglecting his diabetes management. By making a small change—switching from regular to diet soda—he experienced significant improvements in his health. This initial success inspired him to adopt healthier habits gradually, eventually regaining confidence in his ability to change his circumstances.

So, I challenge you to reflect: What bad mental habits are holding you back? What unhealthy beliefs are limiting your mental strength? And what small step can you take today to begin overcoming them? Embracing this journey is the first step towards a stronger, more resilient mindset.u.