To My Ex

I feel kind of awkward. How do I start this? Hey, how's it going?

I guess I will just let it all out for you here. It has been almost 6 years since we broke up. I can't lie I was devastated when we split. It was very much one sided and I was definitely not on board. I felt lost and confused. I never got clarity or a reason. Just up and gone in the middle of the night.

I wont bother you with the grim details of the aftermath. Just know at the time that was the hardest thing I ever went through. I legitimately felt like the end of my world was near.

Fastforward a couple weeks and I am in a new relationship. Now I could care less what people may think. Fresh off a breakup of four years and already in a new relationship. Obviously this was no rebound though, we are married and going on 6 years together.

However as much as I wanted to forget you and let you go, you found me two years later after we broke up. You found out somehow that I was engaged and decided to crash land into my world. Just as suddenly as you disappeared, you were there. I went off. All that pent up emotions and hurt was released in that huge page of text. Yet you some how always managed to slither away from what was needed to be said and wanted to live in the past. For the next four years you would ghost and reappear sporadically. For some reason I would give you the time of day. Each time only adding insult to injury and I was left with baggage.

I honestly just wanted the closure. Sure I will have memories of the past. There is nothing wrong with that, but you wanted to go back to how things were. You and me, but the thing is, I am finally happy.

I am in love with my husband. I love our little family we are making. I don't want to sound like a cliche, but becoming a mom has really put everything into perspective. I never want to lose this. I dreamt of having a family of my own. I finally have everything I always dreamed of because I have finally let you go.

I always wanted to hear from you why. What did I do? Now I have no desire to know, nor do I care. I appreciate everything we ever went through, the hardships, the fights, the growth and the good times. I just don't need or want you in my life anymore. I am finally free of you. I wish nothing but the best for you. I hope you take what you learned from me and you, and move forward. I really wish no ill will. This thing called life is weird and crazy and thats just how it is. We were put into each others' paths for a reason, but that reasoning is finally over.

We are finally over.

To my loving husband, thank you for letting me cope with this as we were and are still going through our own relationship. You have never once made me feel bad for these emotions I have felt. You have always had my back since day one and there is no one else I could ever want to spend the rest of my life with. You are my guiding light through all these tough times. I honestly wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I love you and I hope I make you proud, just like I am proud to call you my best friend and my person.