Tips for Surviving Divorce

Going through a divorce may end up being the hardest thing that you have ever done. Not only are you losing the person that you planned to spend the rest of your life with, but your entire life is going to change. Most people have to move. Financially, you may be facing uncertainty in the following months and years.

Just because it is hard, doesn't mean that it is impossible. Here are some tips for surviving this difficult time in your life.

Take care of yourself.

Even though you may feel at your worst, the truth is that now is the time to focus on yourself. Make sure that you are eating properly and getting enough exercise. Sleep is also essential for you to feel your best.

You also need to take time for yourself. You deserve to be selfish at this time. Do things that make you happy, like taking a walk outside or reading on the weekends.

Don't be afraid to lean on your family and friends.

No one is going to be there for you more than your family and friends. Even if you have drifted apart in the last few years, now is the time to work on that relationship. Besides, now you are going to have more time for those that love you for who you are.

Take time to grieve.

Divorce is essentially a loss. Not only are you losing your marriage, but you may be losing the plan for the rest of your life. For this reason, it is important that you take time to grieve. This may mean that you feel fine one minute, yet you can't stop crying the next. All of this is completely normal. It is also something that you are going to have to get through.

The old saying, one day at a time, does apply to your divorce. You are going to need time to heal. It will get easier as time passes.

Evaluate what went wrong.

Before you can even think about moving on, you need to figure out what you did wrong or what you could have done differently. Not only do you owe it to yourself, but you also owe it to any relationships that you have in the future. You don't want to make the same mistakes the next time around!

Then, you need to forgive yourself.

Even if your marriage ended because of you, you are going to have to find a way to forgive yourself. You are going to have to move on, no matter how hard it feels.

You are also going to have to forgive your ex-spouse.

You also need to forgive your ex. It is essential in the healing process. If you can't forgive him or her, you aren't going to be able to move on to another (and better) relationship.

You also need to remember that forgiving doesn't mean that you are getting back together. In fact, you don't even have to like them at all. You only need to get along with them for the sake of your children (if you have any).

Don't rush into any big decisions.

Too many people make decisions that they will regret because they acted in the moment. No matter how bad you want to move away, give yourself a few months (or even a year). At that time, you will be more prepared to make a big decision.

Get the help that you need.

Though you may shy away from therapy, you may want to rethink your position on it. You are going through a really rough time and talking to someone might be helpful. Your therapist may also be able to help you move on and feel better.

You may also benefit from going to a support group. The truth is that, even though your family wants to help, they may not understand how you feel at this moment. For this reason, it helps to connect with others who are going through a divorce also. Even better, you may see some who have come through on the other side!

Hire the best lawyer that you can afford.

Even if you don't want one, you are going to need a lawyer to handle your divorce. You need someone on your side to make sure that you get the settlement that you deserve. They won't mind fighting through sticky situations to make sure that you are ready to face your new life.

Divorce can be devastating, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It is important that you give yourself time to grieve. You are going to be dealing with anger, frustration, and even tears!

That being said, you need to figure out what went wrong in your marriage, so you don't make the same mistakes. You have to forgive yourself and your ex in order to move on.

There is nothing wrong with getting help if you need it. Seeing a therapist will help you talk about your feelings. He or she may also have the tools to help you deal with everything that you are going through. A support group may also be helpful. Everyone there is going through the same thing, so you should be able to relate to them.