Thirty Seconds to Make a Wish in a Library Blackout

He fell asleep, his cell phone was on the bedside, lit up in the middle of the night, WeChat popped up several messages, I felt curious, took it over and flipped through it. It was his master's degree fellow female classmate, in an excited and cute tone, telling him that her tutor had let out a work.

Scrolling up, I realized that the two of them had been chatting every single day for the past whole year. She would send him face text to push the song, said this is very good and feel ~ he would take a picture of lunch to tell her that this takeaway is too sweet not delicious do not order, also mentioned me, the girl said your girlfriend and good-looking and gentle envy you Oh, he said hee hee hee dad will also help you find a partner two people every week after the tutor's regular meeting will go to the school around the next restaurant, alone, do not take the same door with the other boy, eat some barbecue Shabu shabu a hot pot, once every week, almost without exception.

I gave him his cell phone back to the bed, I got out of bed to pack my backpack, he was confused and didn't open his eyes and asked me what I was doing, I said I was going downstairs to buy some oranges to eat, I suddenly had a craving for them, and my tone of voice was still calm. He mumbled in a delirious voice and told me to go downstairs to the store and not to go far.

After I went out, the sense of calmness suddenly disappeared, I squatted in the doorway want to cry, but can not cry, feel ridiculous, also can not laugh, know should go to question him or just break up, also can not understand why, why my boyfriend began to share life with another girl, began to accept the joys and sorrows of other girls, began to embark on another girl and become a soul mate.

It's now the fifth month since the breakup, and we both realize that the relationship can't come back, I can't get it back, it's over for both of us. But he's simply too afraid to face up to the consequences that he knew in his heart from the beginning that he might have to bear, and he refuses to accept all the facts.

I just don't understand, obviously nothing has happened, our relationship has not deteriorated, everything is smoothly and happily advancing into the future, our future is almost clearly printed in front of us, as long as we move forward normally there is a big happy ending, why he suddenly stops halfway and wants to hold someone else's hand.

On the night of my birthday last fall, we were eating face-to-face in a restaurant. After the candles were lit, I closed my eyes for half a minute to make a wish and then open my eyes, he looked down at his cell phone, I asked him what was wrong, he pressed out the phone and told me that everything was fine, the tutor sent a message to the group and he took a look. Then he smiled and asked me to blow out the candles. Later turned over the chat records, that night that time, I closed my eyes that 30 seconds, coincidentally, the girl sent a message to him, the library suddenly power outage, I'm so afraid 0.0.

After the breakup, he pestered me for a long time, long enough for his tutor to have been unable to accept that he was not in school for a long time to stray from the core subject to call him back forcefully. But on my birthday, which was a Monday, he still came and stayed with me all day for class. I hadn't paid him any attention in a long time, and that night after class I asked him if he was going to dinner. He snapped his head up to stare at me, and I took him to a nearby soy milk store.

Through the heat of the soymilk, I asked him, "What were you thinking this time last year, after I made my wish?

He didn't get what I meant.

With a crying voice, I asked him if he was worried that she was scared because of the power outage in the library, or if he wished that he could spend my birthday with me every year from now on. I didn't actually want to cry, I've been so calm since the breakup that I haven't shed a tear in front of him, nor have I ever shown any emotion of weakness or reluctance. I always thought I handled my emotional control and the breakup process exceptionally well and sensibly, but when I cried out I realized how much I minded this moment last year when his heart wandered .

Do I not have a cohort? Do I not have weekly group meetings? Don't we have group dinner dates? Don't I have frequent contact with my colleagues because of the projects we work on together?

But I never have weekly group dinners with three people, and I don't have dinners with guys when another girl in my group can't make it. We also stayed alone after class to discuss a topic we were jointly responsible for, and we would go to the cafeteria together to eat while continuing to talk because the discussion was too long. But after the discussion will be left separately, after eating will not be the same way back to the dormitory.

I also believe that at this moment, he is truly awakened to what he has done in the past year. I agree that human nature is fragile, that love is not eternal, and that relationships are not always pure. I can understand that there will be moments when he strays. But I can't understand the long, long year of indulgence and acquiescence in the development of this so-called friendship, and the year of making a fool of me and my love for him, which was always sincere and heartfelt.

I never thought marriage would be a shackle that would bind me. The only reason I had any intention of getting married was because I was once willing to spend my life with him and to be each other's life partner. But now that it's over, marriage is not a necessity for me. So there's no such thing as a high probability that the next man I meet will be far inferior to him, and I'm not going to forgive him because he might have been the best person to marry, nor am I going to have to make do with someone to get married just because of my age and traditional views.