The Weird and Wonderful World of TikTok

It was September of 2020. I was miserable with my current job (but you'll have that when you get hired during the height of a pandemic and are left to your own devices when it comes to things like training and preparedness), and I was BORED.

Around this time, there was a rumor that the app TikTok would be banned in the US. Up until this point, I'd never had any interest in using it (it was just a bunch of teenagers doing dances, as far as I knew). But, one day I was bored enough that I decided to download it - worst case, it was gone in a few days and I'd move on.

Boy, was I wrong.

For the first few days, my "for you" page was all over the place. Stories of survivors of cults, hairstylists, and yes, of course, some dances. Eventually I found my way to the side of TikTok that would wind up being my home: anime TikTok. Being a newer member of the anime community, I had no idea how expansive fandom culture was, and the algorithm was constantly blowing my mind. I was seeing people creating headcanons, promoting fanfiction, and cosplay - oh, the cosplay! Needless to say, I was hooked.

My first post on TikTok was a video of an anniversary gift from my partner: a wooden custom-made Naruto piece, covered in manga panels and shaped like the Hidden Leaf symbol. When it reached 400 some views within a few days, I was elated. This was it. I had found a new favorite thing to pass the time.

Within a few weeks, it felt like the creative juices were flowing through my veins again. I was creating lots of headcanons for my favorite characters and I even branched out enough to do my first cosplay - Tamaki Amajiki from My Hero Academia. Most of my content back then was in the MHA fandom, and looking back on it still brings me joy (I just don't interact with that particular fandom as much anymore).

Then one day, I got a comment asking if I would consider creating a headcanon where a My Hero Academia character found out that (reader) was autistic. I decided to take it one step further, and rather than just making one video, I turned it into a series. And that series took off.

To date, I have done over 40 videos for characters spanning 4 different series. And although I haven't had the wherewithall to update it as regularly as I used to, those videos still get lots of traction (thank you, algorithm gods, for still pushing my 2-year-old content).

Besides the numbers and the actual content creation, TikTok has brought me a lot of good things. Support from people who like the things I make (every time I get a comment on one of the autism series videos saying "I'm autistic and I never see content like this, thank you" it STILL makes me emotional). Confidence in myself and determination to continue honing my skills. And, most importantly, it has brought me friends.

As an adult, I find it really hard/weird making friends. Mostly because now I'm a 30-year-old adult with significant anxiety and general awkwardness. But coexisting in a space with other adults who also love the things I love? And watching them be amazing at creating their own online identities based on those things? Easiest way to make friends I've found so far. It makes it a lot less scary being vulnerable on the internet when I know there are human beings who will just uplift me no matter what. And it's really nice for me to think about the fact that, whenever I get married, I can have a "friends from TikTok" table for those people.

I'm now two years into this odd TikTok journey, and while I post way less frequently than I did in 2020, it still brings me joy. I'm now focusing on new things, like expanding my cosplay arsenal and even being so bold as to cosplay in public at local conventions (maybe I'll write about that sometime, too). I'm challenging myself to actually build props and trying to spend more time on creative outlets so that I don't lose the passion for them.

This has all been my very long-winded way of saying thank you, TikTok, for all of the great things you've brought me.

(also if you like anime/other nerdy things and you're on TikTok, follow me! @portgasdsara_)