The Way that Heartache Is Absolutely Necessary

I’m not even going to sugarcoat my thoughts on this.

Heartache sucks. I’m one of those folks that doesn’t like to really feel things. Yet I was fabulously gifted with the ability to feel everything deeply—the irony. Most of us, if not all of us, don’t like to feel the yucky, sad heartache feelings. Being more of an analytical kind of gal, I’d probably be okay with trading in all feelings so I didn’t have to deal with the crappy ones… but that’s not how it works. And honestly, that’s not a healthy approach at all. Logically I know all this stuff.

This will be a very vulnerable post for me and I’m sure I will type, delete, share, pull back a thousand times as I write it.

I’ve had a good share of heartache in my life. Many of us have.

I had a bit of a challenging childhood—a place I’m not ready to share about yet. Through it I’ve developed an amazing amount of resilience. And I’m so very grateful to have that trait.

I love hard in all of my relationships. Which means I feel so torn when they fail. This is a whole other topic to discuss for another time. It’s all been a journey of lessons. We could dive into so many directions with this topic. But the important thing to note out of this is that I’m learning and I’m adding to my strength and self discovery bucket every time.

Some heartache heals fast. Some stays through the years.

One of the loves of my life committed suicide when I was an early adult. This has been a tough journey of grief for me to overcome (Hold on here, I’m sharing—this is not an easy feat for me). Fourteen years later and I’m finding I’m still healing from this. I tend to like to suppress things down and “stay tough.” It doesn’t work that way. You have to go through the stages of grief.

Heartache comes in many ways and through many avenues.

When I lost my grandparents a few years back I discovered a whole other side of heartbreak I didn’t know I had in me. It was as if I lost my rocks that gave me strength. You can read a letter I wrote to my Grandmother after she passed here.

A couple of years ago my dad had brain surgery to remove a tumor. This was scary as shit. I experienced all kinds of emotions that Summer.

With heartache comes vulnerability.

I know it may seem silly that I’m listing these things like this but this is something I’m really, really, really pushing myself to do. I’m exposing myself. Sharing (some of) my heartache with you. I’m learning this is important to do, for all of us. This is where vulnerability gives us connection and strength.

Heartache is an important experience for us to have.

There has never been a year in which I haven’t experienced some form of heartache. Heartache is part of life. But as a result, it helps us develop and grow.

Heartache shows us that there is balance in life. Like the yin and the yang. Without darkness, there cannot be light. Pretty basic concept.

Heartache teaches us inner strength. It gives us an opportunity to be torn down and to rebuild ourselves. As a result, we can reinvent and become anything in the world.

Heartache can be a big sign that change is needed. Many times we look at negative experiences as ones we shouldn’t have in life but they’re necessary. If we didn’t feel that it hurts then how would we know not to continue? Heartache can serve as a warning sign in some ways and some situations.

I’ll reiterate how much heartache sucks again. Heartache sucks.

But heartache has been such a huge part of who I’ve become. It has given me opportunities to open up to paths and roads I needed to travel. This makes me grateful.