“I will text you 50 times in a row and feel no shame. You’re my friend, you literally signed up for this.”
I came across that quote the other day and I couldn’t help but immediately think of the friendships I have in my life right now. I have the greatest friends!
I have the kind of friends that could see me at my ugliest moments and still would tell me I’m beautiful. I have the kinds of friends that will be brutally honest with me, even when sometimes that’s convincing me that I’m wonderful. My friends don’t tell me my dreams are stupid; crazy sometimes, but never stupid. They encourage me to live without fear and to not hold on to what-ifs. They ask a lot of questions and take time to listen to my answers to gain a deeper understanding of my wacky brain. They see me as a dreamer working hard to make my dreams a reality. My friends are my biggest fans and my greatest cheerleaders. They also always hold out a hand to help me back up when I fall and they help me brush off the dust so I can shine again. I have the kinds of friends that can get a deep belly laugh out of me at any time, in any moment. And they never let me shed more than three tears without a smile crossing my face again. I have the kind of friends that you will spend a lifetime loving. The friends that make you proud to be yourself and from where you’ve come from and how far you’ve grown. I have the best kinds of friends.
Friendships are like any other type of relationship. It is important to surround yourself with positive people. Pick healthy friendships to harvest in your life.
Besides the obvious having fun, lots of laughter, there are some key points that are a must in a happy and healthy friendship:
- You can be yourself around them—you feel comfortable in your own skin around them. You don’t feel pressured to meet certain standards or act a certain way. It just feels natural being around them.
- They’re honest with you and you’re honest with them—they can tell you how they’re feeling and you can tell them how you’re feeling without judgement or question. They share their honesty with you respectfully and with care as you do with them.
- They have seen you at your worst and still love you and believe in you, and they tell you that!
- You don’t feel a need to compete with them. You are both helping each other thrive and be at your best.
- You can disagree in a healthy manner. Being good friends doesn’t mean you always share the same opinion, but it does mean that you are respectful to each other and about each other’s opinions. You either agree to disagree or if the friendship depends on it, then you work towards a healthy solution or compromise together, but you don’t let fires burn.
- There’s no jealousy or possessiveness. A healthy friendship allows you to have other relationships. It means you can have time apart and spend time with other people without jeopardizing your friendship.
- You trust each other. You can count on your friend not to gossip about you, speak ill about you, or share your secrets.
- You respect each other’s boundaries.
- You each nurture the friendship. You stay in touch even when things get busy. Maybe that just means a quick text or a Facebook shout out but you make sure to touch base.
- You’re there for each other. This doesn’t mean in an on call 24/7 kind of way, but you know you can always count on each other when it’s really needed.
Friendships can come easy, but they still take work to keep them healthy. Focus on building the right ones.