The truth behind my strength

When I first read the sister circle challenge I wrote about how I didn’t really have a female role model or wasn’t inspired by one. So with the first draft I made I sent it over to my best friends (which are surprisingly all female friends) so they could read it and tell me what they thought about it. One of them, that has been my best friend for over 10 years, gave me a hard pill to swallow. She knows me better than anyone in my life, I think at this point she knows me better than I know myself. Harshly and without mercy, she expressed that it sounded like I was an egocentric cow, but in much nicer words... That made me step back and realize that I was not transmitting the message I wanted to send. So I went back to my rough draft and read it all over again from a fresh perspective. And even though it inspired me because I knew what my point was, I wasn’t sending the right message. So as I was reading it again for the fifth time I realized how ungrateful I sounded.

I even searched the definition of the word egocentric, and to my surprise, that is exactly how I sounded. In my search I also found an article about how to be grateful and how everyone, no matter how small their presence has been in your life, has an impact on the person you become. So because I had lost the message on my first draft, I started from scratch one more time and wrote it all over again but this time with a clear conscience and a humble heart.

I sat down with myself and had a moment of clarity and realized that I’ve actually met a lot of powerful females in my thirty runs around the sun. In my first draft I was so focused on getting my story out there I didn’t say enough about other women's impact in my life.

So I’ll start with my birth mom. Her name was Delmis, I got to live with her for four years before she died in a car crash when I was eight. As little time as I had with her it absolutely made an impact on my subconscious for my future self. She taught me how to be me. I grew up surrounded by four of my male cousins, and she would allow me to play in the dirt, to play with cars and be a tomboy, without a judgement in the world. I learned later in life that she was a free spirit and the only person she cared about in the world was me, her daughter. I am thankful for having had the opportunity to be her child. It took me many years to realize it but she was the biggest inspiration for my female side.

After my mom died the second biggest female role model I had in my life was my stepmom. Bessy is her name, she was basically a housewife, her whole life was my dad and her children and while I was growing up I admired her for being able to work an 8-3 job, five days a weeks and still go home to support my father and take care of my two stepsisters and myself. What a big heart you have to possess to be able to take care of the child who must have been a constant reminder that your husband was unfaithful. For all the many things I gained and learned from her growing up, one thing from her that was a constant reminder of my birth mom was she always allowed me to be myself and for that I’m forever thankful.

In the house as I was growing up, I had two stepsisters. One of them is a year older than me and her name is Etny. Even though our relationship was never a great story to tell I have to name her on this list because while I was growing up she was my role model and she taught me things about myself I wouldn’t have learned any other way. Even though it’s hard for me to admit out loud she had to have been my first real female inspiration.

My other sister is six years younger than me and her name is Vittoria. You may be wondering how a younger female can be an inspiration. Well, after realizing that my relationship with my older sister wasn’t perfect and she wasn’t the best female role model I could have, I decided I was going to be a better support for my little sister. She definitely inspired me to be the best I could be, and I tried to make sure she wouldn’t feel that making mistakes was a bad thing. I can say she truly inspired me whenever I was down to just smile and connect with my inner child, to realize that no matter what, you always have time to relax.

But even if my relationship wasn’t the best with Etny, thanks to her I was able to meet my best friend and my chosen sister; which if you don’t remember is the one that gave me the hard pill to swallow, and her name is Stephany, which is similar to my name. I met her when I was 14 years old in high school, and the first thing she said to me was that she loved my curls. She has been by far my biggest companion, a strong hand I’ve been able to hold on to, a shoulder I’ve been able to cry on, a free space where I’ve been able to be myself and not feel judged. Even though she’s always had a partner, I’ve always admired her success in the world and the way she slowly grew her self worth and self love. She’s been a role model in many aspects of my life; a truly big inspiration. We studied architecture in the same college and went through hell together and got out of it alive. Many if not all the most difficult times in my life were next to her. I have many things to thank her for but the biggest inspiration of all, has been her amazing ability to get through life in such a humble manner and still stay strong for her daughter.

Around the same time I met Steph I also met my other great friend, Vanessa; We went through a lot and she inspired me in many ways to be a better woman just because of the way she managed herself, without her knowing it she was a light on so many days I needed a helping hand. For her existence in this world I am thankful.

Even with all the female presences in my life and all of their support; something was missing, I felt empty and needed to leave my reality. So when I turned 23, I left a third world country behind and decided to buy a plane ticket, thanks to my moms side of the family, and headed to the sunshine state Miami, Florida.

I had one contact in Miami, which was an auntie I hadn’t seen in over 16 years, my birth mom's best friend and sister Nimia. Once I arrived I had a very low self esteem, no self appreciation and thought of myself as ugly and not worthy of anything great or meaningful. Spending time with her taught me how to be a woman, how to connect with my female side and discover to my surprise the power that I have as a woman. I admire her courage to live on her own, with two kids to maintain. She inspired me to believe in my own power as a woman. She came to the states illegally 18 years ago and somehow managed to make it on her own with no family nearby. So she became a role model to me. Thanks to her I learned how to love myself, and she was the first one to guide me into a better self.

I also met a great woman in Miami who inspired me and became my other half in little to no time, her name is Eunice and she is 5 years younger than me. When I first met her she reminded me of Vittoria due to the age difference, but she showed me with time that I didn’t have to be perfect and I didn’t have to prove anything to the world, I just had to live. She gave me back the thing I had lost a long time ago which was my self worth. She’s inspired me throughout the years and still to this day I can’t feel anything but appreciation for her self love and courage to face the difficult aspects of her life.

So I guess that once I analyzed why I am the woman I am today, it’s not only thanks to my inner goddess but thanks to all the powerful women in my life that have been my role models, thanks to their Inspiring stories and their battles that have helped mold me into the person I am today.

Thanks to their courage and bravery I am able to stand tall today and be proud of the things I’ve done and accept the success as it comes. To my sister circle I Am forever grateful for making me the great woman I am today and giving me the power to fight my own battles and come out victorious.