THE IMMORTAL

Walking along a long path of cobble stone and dirt, surrounded by leafy trees full of fruits I had never seen before and smells I found to be aphrodisiacs, as if it was a paradise on earth that my existence had taken for granted. The beauty of that place was so much that it filled my soul as if it were a familiar place, but... how? At what point in life would have I come to a place like this? It made me reconsider the possibility of a past life and the idea of somehow having the power to reincarnate in different bodies while carrying the same soul.

In a way, I knew these paths, my inner compass knew where I was going, but... why today? Precisely, today at my fathers funeral - if I can even call him that - today, where I don't know how to feel, today, that life takes a turn, today, where twenty-five years of absence are worth twenty thousand dollars, or at least they thing that’s what a life is worth since that’s what I’m left with… what am I to do with it? Where am I supposed to go? So many questions running through my mind, but I cant seem to find answers...

Immersed in memories that seem to be my own, I sat on an old wooden bench near a river stream, and while admiring the beauty of that landscape and the nature I was surrounded by, an angel came down to me and handed me a little black book made of leather. It seemed to have something of value inside. While appreciating the little black book, with little to no time of asking questions the angel faded away, and mesmerized by the situation and with great curiosity I opened the pages of the book I had been given.

It turned out to be a personal journal, a diary, of what seemed to be the handwriting of a woman. The pages seemed very old and the words had been written in black China ink. While going through each of the pages I came across a chapter divided by the petals of a dried rose, dating from very remote times and in it I read the following:

"So many years ago I met an immortal, who did not know peace, the world had left scars so deep that no one had been able to heal them. His eyes were sad and lacked an essence that we all believe at a point to need, the immortal came up to me and whispered his story of pain:

'For a long time I walked through the streets of oblivion and bitterness where the immortals lived. On my walk one day I met a woman, so beautiful my eyes couldn't believe it, I saw in her a divine beauty. I had had women before but never one like her. Time passed and with it, I fell in love with that beautiful being. Her happiness completed me. Her eyes were moistened when she saw me and I finally knew the truth, to me she was perfect, and over time she became part of my awakenings. Day by day, she was the sun I would wait for. She was the breeze in my body. She was my whole universe. With only one touch she had healed those wounds that seemed so deep. Her voice made me a madman and her body moved like a rose in the wind... I couldn't help it, I couldn't stop it, and with all the fear in the world I told her the words I never thought I could... the words of 'I LOVE YOU'. During that time I truly believed it to be real, I thought I would never lose her. Now that I come to think about it, it was inevitable because we immortals cant feel love, yet I had her in my arms and I hugged her everyday as if I was never going to lose her. I used to kissed her with so much passion and desire that my days turned to dust. All the other mortals wanted her, yet I was able to scream that she was mine. Seasons passed by and one hefty morning the mortals came to our shed and took her away from me. They took her to a far away land, as deep as the depths of hell. I tried to search for her but the gates of heaven closed down on me. The opportunity to feel her sweet and tender touch once again was lost... I had given up on a battle that had not yet begun, it was useless to fight against the great almighty.

So I sat down on my golden throne and contemplated my memories, her caresses and kisses. Suddenly one night in my agony I felt her again. Her touch so gentle, her sweet brown eyes, it was her. Tears sprouted down her cheeks, she had been punished by the mortals, with no words left to say I hugged her tightly. I didn't want to let her go and in my rage I shattered a wall. I felt weak, I felt useless, I couldn't help her. Never have I felt so mortal as I felt that day. Without thinking about it I pushed her away from my life, I screamed with tears in my soul and a knot in my throat, I told her to go away, everything was out of my control. It was way more than I was able to handle and with her departure she took my heart. I closed my soul at dawn and closed the doors of love. If it was not with her it would be with no one else. She left with her head held high and without really understanding my motives, I told her not to cry, that in her silence I would take care of her from up here, that the night and the days will fall on her window because I had decided to, I told her to leave and to give her life to a man who valued her. Deep down I understood that I didn't deserve her and that's all I needed to know for me to let her go. I watched her leave, knowing that, that day my soul would die. I wept for many years over her departure and even the warmth and comfort of other beings did not fill my empty soul; my life was not mine and neither were my feelings, they belonged to the love of my life'

Suddenly the immortal broke in silence, my eyes were wet and so were those of that immortal, that being that seemed so fearsome wept silently beside me, for having found me again..."

As I finished reading, a memory came to me. What I thought had been a dream was a reality. I dropped to my knees and cried as I had never cried before and I shouted to the heavens with joy. Every piece had finally fallen into its place and it was then when I realized that whom the immortal had described in that little black book... WAS ME. And with that discovery I decided to leave the mortals, since now I was able to remember my purpose and the reason of my search on this world, knowing her existence was still around the corners of the earth put my soul at ease once again and it was time to go back home. I left the money I was given next to the book and in it I added some words:

'AND FOREVER THE LOVE OF MY LIFE YOU WILL BE'