The Struggle

For a long time growing up I struggled with who I was, not necessarily what I did, but who I was. With the idea of being comfortable in my own skin. With the idea of what people taught me or what someone thought I should do or should not do. I struggled with how I should act, and how I shouldn't act.

These are the things that often propel people either into what one would believe to be greatness or a depression.

I myself dealt with the things from my sexuality to wanting to have that perfect model body. I would pray continually to become male figure that they wanted me to be to no avail. I would pray make me like this person or that person. Remove this desire that is controlling me I asked day in and day out, night upon night upon night. People would say I ain't never seen a person pray as much as you. Not understanding my life not understanding what was going on with me, thinking something was wrong because everybody pointed but not knowing what to do because I had no guidance and it seemed all everyone wanted to do was take. I wanted to be everything that I thought greatness was so I strived to keep the perfect image. I strived to be better in everyway remembering that one day I would be famous as some said and not wanting my image tainted.

SN: Sometimes we expose our dreams too fast, even to those near, not sensing or knowing that they never have your best interest at heart.

To proceed: I lived based on how people wanted me to do things. Until I came to my senses, it took me a while 15 years to be exact but one thing for sure I am most definitely comfortable with me. I just want to share my own perspective of my life's trials and situations and how I got over or learned to accept me and be okay with me.

I will elaborate and hopefully you feel the feelings and emotions I felt. My desire is that people will be comfortable enough to live there life however they deem necessary. For my church folks my favorite scripture is “Work out your own soul salvation with fear and trembling” This is a major pointer for any and all religious folk at this very moment because it singles you out and makes you deal with you as an individual which is what is neglected to be talked about or dealt with on many platforms across America.

This is the American way to be so absorbed in the life and the things of others that we forget about us our well-being our mental health. Did you not know that we are energy which cannot be created nor destroyed?, Did you not know that every move you make takes energy every, thought you think is energy, every word spoken is live energy, and it is working on your behalf.

The essence of who you are is bottled up in this shell of a body and until you began to allow what is you, to be you, you will never accomplish what has been set before you and is meant to cause you to flourish.

Forgive me lol when I began to write it comes from the wealth of information/energy that my Dad/Creator has given me so I must share.

Nevertheless, this all is major because it entails knowing who you are what you like. What you tolerate and what you wont. The message of finding and knowing who you are is about you being happy with you and really that’s what life is all about. Social media and Television paints the picture of this perfect hair, perfect face, nose, ass, ect but really you are perfect the way you are.

You don’t need to change anything outwardly until you become comfortable with who you are inwardly. I hope you guys enjoyed and that your life is transformed. Awaken to the reality of who you are. -T.Carrell