The Simple Things

When you run out of words, what do you have left? Your actions. Telling my husband I love him can be as simple as grabbing him his favorite pecan cinnamon rolls from the bread store. The look he gets when I hand those to him is so fulfilling. He turns into a little kid. I hope I'm not the only person in a relationship that wants to please the other. It makes me feel so happy to find all these odd little ways to say I love you like that.

Another action is, being that person he fell in love with. My husband loves my childish side. Hence the picture above. That was my pumpkin from last year. We got so much enjoyment out of carving pumpkins and coming up with goofy, unusual ideas. Sometimes he will stop and look at me with this real, genuine smile and say, "That's part of why I fell in love with you," and it almost feels like we're dating again. Take advantage of holiday traditions or start new ones and make them fun! Last year we also decorated pine cones with our daughter Lily for Christmas ornaments. Create those memories and reminders to help keep your relationship secure. Working from the foundation will build a solid structure that will last a life time.

I fear the day that these actions come to a halt. Not the "I love you's," the actions. It's so easy to say I love you, but coming up with ideas to please the other takes effort. People say I love you all the time when they don't mean it. How many of those I love you's send you cards, tell you they were thinking of you, or go out of their way to spend time with you? When I run out of ideas, and it happens all the time, I love looking online. People can be so creative when it comes to finding ways to show affection. Another great idea is couples therapy. But what if you don't have issues right? Well it isn't always about relationship problems honestly. It can be about discovering each other more. My husband and I chose to do that before we got married just because. It was really great and we actually found some underlying issues in the process that we weren't quite aware of. Therapists can bring up topics that you may never think about, or exercises that really make you ponder areas of your relationship. It can also help keep your relationship from turning stagnant by keeping your emotions for each other flowing. The effort is very apparent in love but we are so often blinded by the words coming from someones mouth rather than their actions.

My husband and I's relationship started on basically nothing financially. We had to get pretty creative with gifts and he always asked what I wanted. I told him the same thing every time. "It doesn't matter what it is, I'll love it because you thought I would." We humans make those kind of things way more complex than they need to be. My husband and I are both pretty simple people, I'm not materialistic. I love the hand made things and anything with meaning behind it. Our first anniversary (paper year) I made him a scrap book. He absolutely loved it. All I did was print pictures, organize them on some pretty paper, with relevant stickers and designs. Simple. Guess what he gave me? A photo album of our memories. We both laughed because we seem so different at times but when it comes to how we love each other, we're both right at the same level. That's what true, long lasting love is supposed to be. Not just love, but an understanding of one another.

Go do those simple things and quit overwhelming yourself with the idea of love that others put into your head. Just like the idea of what beauty is, love is put into such strict guidelines. If you want to do something nontraditional, then go for it!