The Secret of a Happy and Long-Lasting Marriage!

The secret of happy marriages is not a hidden mystery to the "profane" world, it is the most logical thing possible, which we learn by living and loving: the secret lies in the way you create and maintain a long relationship.

The way you know and want to maintain closeness and intimacy. In a word, in the friendship between spouses!

A long and happy marriage sometimes seems just an idea, a fairy tale, an impossible mission: we can think that happiness does not reconcile with time, habit, routine (according to the idea that you either live intensely, but short, or you live long, but common)…

And yet, we see mature couples and elderly couples, walking together and embodying the image of the peaceful, harmonious, united, and happy couple!

How do they succeed - do they have a secret hidden from our eyes? Or do they have special talents and communication skills? No - they learned, they adapted, they realized that problems are not the end of the line…

They learned that the secret of a happy marriage is not in the carnal passion (which is important in the couple, but which cannot be kept as intense over the years); it is not about material things; the secret of a happy marriage does not lie in an adventurous life - but everyday life; it is not even guaranteed by love - for love does not survive for years without another ingredient - and this is a true friendship between spouses, a friendship that grows over the years and that makes the couple a strong and stable union.

Are you disappointed? Want to hear that there is a secret to keeping passion and love forever? It doesn't exist - passion and desire subside over time (which doesn't mean you shouldn't try to rekindle the flame between you); and love - love does not endure with time unless romantic love, of lovers, joins love as friends.

Even if it may not sound romantic, the secret to happy marriages is to become friends and not just lovers. For only in this way do you remain close, together with facing the hardships of life; stay united, despite the small disappointments of the couple's life; stay strong, form a team.

The secret of happy marriages is the friendship between spouses:

Because being friends means intimate acquaintance: you may not be able to tell a loved one anything, fearing that he will misinterpret it or fearing what impression you are giving him; but when you look at your boyfriend, husband/wife as a friend, you feel that you can open up with a light heart.

You feel that he knows you so well and that he can understand you. You feel that he will listen to you and that he is with you. It may sound strange that your boyfriend should be your friend in time: these two roles cannot be performed by the same person, right? And yet, it can and is the solution for the relationship to be resilient and satisfying, for the relationship to provide you with what you need.

Because being friends means trust. Two spouses who see each other as partners, friends, will trust each other and implicitly, they will trust their relationship. When friendships are not yet reached, partners may be concerned about the future of their relationship, maybe skeptical about the future, and maybe unnecessarily worried about what may be…

But when you are friends, trust that if you encounter difficulties, you will somehow manage to get it done together - may be affected by problems, but all together. This is why some spouses even go astray: because the one who cheated confesses his mistake; and because their relationship means more to them than carnal love; it means so much that they forgive and emphasize their affection, not their feelings of jealousy and frustration.

No matter how much betrayal hurts, your partner is still a friend of yours - so you allow him to justify himself, you listen to him, you try, even if it's hard, to accept his enormous mistake…

Being friends means feeling good together! To create in time common activities that satisfy the interests and pleasures of both spouses. Here is another reason why the secret of happy marriages is friendship: as friends, you want and find ways to spend your time together, in pairs and with other friends.

It means going through different interests and hobbies, finding some common ones, and feeling at ease together. On the other hand, long-married husbands who cannot form a friendship increasingly feel the need to spend their time apart: because they have not created a common ground and, instead of feeling good together, they feel compelled to be together!

Because being friends means mutual need, the need to have the other person by your side. Nobody lives without friends, right? You feel the need to have a close person to whom to say anything, to whom to ask for advice, who has the same ideas and principles, and who appreciates you. What many ignore is the fact that even your spouse can be your friend, even your best friend.

For, in time, you can, instead of moving away and being disappointed by the decline of love life, adapt to change, learn from each other, even resemble each other because of the closeness. In successful long-term couples, partners end up having similar ideas, principles, and tics: due to inter-influence. So what friend is more natural than your life partner?

Because being friends means strong affection, a stable and resilient attachment. As has been said, passion and desire subside over time; romantic love cannot sustain a relationship over the years either. But the feeling of friendship is that affection which, although perhaps less intense, is deep, resilient, and anchored in reality.

Affection and attachment, despite what some may believe, do not preclude romantic love or even passion! You can, in time, look at your spouse as your friend, lover, and lover! You can talk and have fun as friends; you can live romantic moments; you can also find the desire between you, as long as you try and do not let the relationship cool down…