The secret

It’s the first day after summer break. It’s the moment I’ve been dreaming of. First day of senior year. Normally, I would be running up and down the neighborhood screaming with glee to embrace this new journey. Unfortunately, I’m carrying something that weighs more than four elephants put together. I’ve never had to deal with anything remotely close to real life in my whole life. I haven’t even told my best friend lexi. Alexis and I have been best friends since sixth grade. She was new to our town middle school. We live in a small town called Wetherington. It’s so small that almost everyone is related, because the low supply of men. Thank god Alexis was actually new to our town and not someone who came back, then we found out we were related, and before we found out shared a small kiss on the playground. That happened to me in the second grade I found out my crush was my cousin. Our parents weren’t speaking so they didn’t care to tell us. Yea, weirdest school year ever. They ended up moving away a year before Alexis came to our school. She was 5’2 a couple inches shorter than me. She had really long pretty brown hair. Her hair was always curled she loved the way it framed her brown face. Her eyes were the lightest brown I ever seen. When she first walked in our classroom she looked scared and nervous. I invited her to sit with me and we been stuck since. If I can’t talk to her about what’s going on. Who can I talk too? I get ready for school in a blur this morning still thinking about everything that’s going on. I’m a senior I can’t handle all this pressure on my own. I need to figure something out, and I need to do it fast. I get to school trying to pretend it’s a great first day. If I pretend long enough maybe it actually will turn out to be that way. Would’ve been a great thought if I didn’t see him. My past like a ghost haunting a house! Instead the house is me and the ghost is my past. Great! Something else I have to deal with this morning. When he sees me he starts heading my way. I look around for any way to not have deal with this. At least not today, maybe next week, or next month. Just any day besides today. I divert down the hall just in enough time to keep, at least some hope of me trying to pull off pretending today all together. Then I see Lexi a familiar face. A light in the dark, a smile in the time of need. I can name so many things Lexi is, but one thing for sure she is annoying as hell. “What’s with the fit? Ms. Janet still picking your clothes out?” She laughs out loud like it’s the joke of the year and she heard it off Comedy Central. I look down at my outfit. “It’s nothing wrong with my fit. I’m making a statement today.” I protest. “Well, what’s the statement? I’m depressed and going emo?” She makes a face as she looks at my face. “Oh honey, are you okay?” Are you okay? It hung in the air as if I were zip lining and got stuck. I had to answer fast or she would really know I’m lying. “I just can’t believe everything that happened this summer with me and chad.” Remember chad? My past that’s haunting me. Well, we broke up this summer. No, that’s not what weighs like four elephants put together. He’s just some dumb guy I dated all the way from freshman year until this god awful summer. Lexi understands and just gives me a hug. Her hugs have always been the best. She always smells like she showers in daffodils. It’s always a sweet, captivating, and unique smell. Almost like she has her own perfume factory. Her smell alone takes my mind off everything. Daffodils are my favorite flower. For my 16th birthday my mom let me get a tattoo of one on my stomach. I was the first junior in our small town with a tattoo. For awhile everyone wanted to talk to me about it. “Did it hurt?” “Where’d you go?” “Can I touch it?” For a week straight that’s all I heard. After that I wore pants to cover it up. People pretty much forgot after that. Lexi and I have had at least once class together since beginning of our friendship. If we notice we didn’t, we figured a way to get a class together. Our first class is P.E. thank god it’s a easy class for the first period on this what seems already long day. I don’t think I would be able to even focus if I had calculus as my first class. Math has always been my favorite subject. I like the way it challenges me to think. Lexi’s always made fun of me for liking math, but she’s bad at it so I tutor her. Her parents told her first semester of junior year when progress reports went out and they saw she was failing they were going to hire a tutor. Instead Lexi does what she does best and lies. “Jordan’s going to tutor me. I already asked her.” Lexi’s parents love me. They say I’m a good influence on her. Since today was our first day back we just walked the track for P.E.. Of course Lexi wanted to talk about Chad. “Are to going to talk to chad?” I turn to her. “What’s to talk about? We broke up. That’s the end.” She looks at me with a “I’m sorry I brought it up look” . “I just wanted to make sure your doing fine.” “ I’m fine.” I snap. I speed up some I just need silence. I see Lexi on the side. She can tell I didn’t mean to snap and I just need a moment. We walked quietly for the rest of the period. We change out of our gym clothes and get ready for our next class. My next class is calculus, and Lexi next class is music. We make our lunch plans and depart. As I walk into my calculus class I notice someone already in there with a familiar face. OH NO! OH NO! OH NO! Now the four elephants just came crashing down on me all at once!