The Revisit

In the middle of the sweltering and isolated desert, Dana stood there staring at the limitless view of dry land as a gust of breeze breaks the silence. The wind brushed her long, wavy golden locks into her face, slightly obscuring her view. Her eyes became fixated on a foreign rock formation that caught her attention because of how out of place it seemed amongst the flat, barren terrain. She felt intensely compelled with an irresistible urge to make her way over to the stone as if she were being pulled into it by some unseen force of gravity. This phase of curious attraction decreased as she approached it. Looking down at the ground beneath her feet, it was not difficult to notice a patch of disturbed loose earth that was equally inconsistent with the surrounding environment. The peculiarity of it all only managed to reignite Dana's curiosity. In an instant, she fearlessly stuck her hands into the loose sand-like soil when she felt something tangible. She retrieved two items; patting and dusting them off to reveal a quite ordinary little black book in pristine condition and a sizeable folded, brown envelope.

She thought to herself that someone obviously didn't want anyone to see these things, but why? She didn't immediately open them because her Christian upbringing taught her it was never kind to snoop into other people's belongings. Flashes of different scenarios played in her head. Visions of treasure maps, secret bank codes, assassin kill lists, love letters, or just some frat guy's list of college conquests he decided to bury away for the right woman. It could be Pandora's box, the adventure she needed, or, at the very least, give her a good laugh. She placed both the book and the envelope into her worn brown satchel, trekked back to her red 1997 Jeep Wrangler, and drove home. The drive had given her time to deal with some internal conflict about opening the little black book and emptying the envelope's contents. As she sat in her car, she decided to go for it and opened the envelope first. What fell out was $20,000 of cash. Her eyes lit up with excitement. Next, she opened the little black book. Thinking she would end the mystery, she pulled the strap away from around the book and found herself looking at blank pages, which only created more questions.

She stuffed everything back into her bag, and feeling stale and dirty, she passed the threshold of her condo that still showed the aftermath of her and Richard's breakup fight. She had finally gotten the courage to confront him about the abandonment, lack of affection, and noticeable distance in their relationship. She thought it would be some kind of intervention, but it became a volatile shouting match. The nervous energy in the room was palpable. Enough was enough, and this misery had to end, so the words just fell out of her mouth "It's over. Get out!" Before Dana realized the significance of what she had just uttered, Richard had already managed to grab his things into a single duffel bag and slam the door behind him.

She ran through the various ways this newfound $20,000 would help her escape her current circumstances. The money would give her a fresh start and an opportunity to pull herself out of the hole of despair. She could move and start over far away from the drama and regret that haunted her. She could pursue her art in peace.

The loud ring of her telephone snapped her out of the trance as she jumped up and raced over to answer it, trying not to trip over the debris and disarray.

On the other line was her cousin Nina.

Nina was seventeen years her senior. Dana spent most of her childhood looking up to Nina like the big sister she never had. However, as Dana matured, it seemed that Nina's attitude towards her became hostile, almost resentful. They spent less and less time with one another to the point of only seeing each other during family gatherings. Nina would berate and belittle Dana in passive-aggressive ways. Continually attempting to make Dana feel inferior about her appearance and intelligence. She could never figure out what she had done to deserve this treatment.

The last words that came from Nina's mouth were informing her that Uncle Thomas had passed away.

Uncle Tom had been there for her during every difficult point in her life. While her mom worked two jobs to support herself and Dana after her father left them when she was five years old. Uncle Tom had been the one to help her learn to drive, helped her get her first car, and helped her through her first heartbreak. He had lost his own child at childbirth. His wife, Janice, was so distraught over the loss that they grew apart, and she eventually filed for divorce. It explained why he treated Dana like his own daughter. They were partners in crime.

Dana walked into her makeshift art studio, which she had created in her condo. There stood an easel and a painting covered by a large, white sheet. She slowly pulled the sheet away to reveal a desert portrait and an oddly shaped rock formation as the image's focal point. It was the same scene she had left back in the desert, but how was this painting already done. Dana pulled out the little black book in her pocket and opened it once more. While peering at the blank pages, names started to appear—first, Thomas Tilner (Uncle Tom), then Nina Jacobson, and finally, Richard Dods.

The little black book was now holding the names of those whom she had the most painful memories. This terrified her. She grabbed her keys, hopped in her Jeep, and headed back to the spot in the desert where she had come upon the book and money. She decided to bury everything back in their rightful place. As she packed down the last bit of earth over the hole, Dana opened her eyes and sat up.

There was sitting Dr. Albrecht with her short, raven hair and leopard glasses. Her long sleek legs crossed and swinging her red-bottomed heels as she vigorously wrote on a yellow-lined notepad. Dana stared back at her in a daze.

The doctor explained that the names in the book involved her most painful memories. The moments in her life she was most vulnerable. They were memories she buried deep into her subconscious, never to revisit until now. She never could explain the money. However, a month later, Dana entered one of her paintings into a contest and won the first prize of $20,000. She moved to Seattle, Washington, and opened her own art gallery for aspiring artists just like herself.