The perfect Job

So I'm spent quite a bit of time recently looking for the perfect job. The perfect J.O.B. I'm bi-lingual, so I thought that that would come in handy. It does, to a certain extent. Remembering that my keyboard is in English and that switching back and forth into and out of Spanish isn't too hard (for me) definitely comes in handy.

Then websites started changing, apps got faster, I was going back and forth from here into Mexico and back again. Helping beffas on both sides of the border and what-not suddenly got way too confusing. Everyone in both languages has great advice. Who do you listen to? That's a great question. At Lowe's (near where I live, of course) I've applied, had an interview with the assistant store manager. He pointed out the benefits of having worked at a call center (there are TONS of call centers nearby) which include knowing how to de-escalate hairy situations.

I must never forget that more often than not, it is not so much what you say, but rather how you say it. If I had a nickel for every time I've shaken my head and taken a deep breath after having forgotten that, I'd be rich beyond my wildest dreams. Don't get me started on dreams. I just had one that included that chick from Friends, a best friend from kindergarten, Eliot Perez, and host of other people I can't quite remember.

In the dream, I was upset that the chick from Friends had grabbed the tip of my you-know-what and squeezed as hard as she could. Who does that? Everyone knows you're supposed to wait until a guy is good and ready. Eliot and I went back to confront her. And yes, I totally got to make out with that chick from Friends. I can't wait to tell my compadre.

Where was I? telling my compadre. Yeah I have a ton of compadres. One could almost put them on a scale and their combined weight would come out to 1000 lbs. A brother-in-law was my first compadre. Let's call him "Chacho" because that's what people call him. I married "Chachis" by the way.

Ok, so far we have Chacho on the scale, we also have to add one of my newphews by marriage, Miguel. If the father of a step-daughter's husband count, we'll also have to add an Otoniel. I know this may be asking much, but the reader must keep in mind that in Spanish, if one asks, "How are your compadres?" one is also asking about the women.

So if you say, "Lets go to their house" and you're referring to them as a married couple it's understood that they (man and woman) are both included. Much like the word, 'mankind.' But just how kind is man? Women are more kind.

Like the young lady I met today at Lowe's (yes I just got back from there). She verified my e-mail address. I'll keep an eye out for emails. both of them as often as I can spare them. I just stole a Gandalf quote. See what I did there? Slight of hand one might call it. But who knows? The pen, they say, is mightier than the sword. But what's the point? Let's ask the swordfish.

He's probably busy trying to get his catch to his mouth. I would be. I'd also have a look out for predators. There's always a bigger fish, and plenty of fish in the sea. Is the reader feeling a little horny? That's what they say around these parts about seafood. Me? I'm getting hungry.

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