The Pedestrian’s Tale

Kent Brindley; FitBit Enthusiast, Walker (mostly by choice), and Pedestrian Advocate by necessity. Nice to meet you.

We here in my hometown are approaching the Summer season again with far more vehicle traffic and a lot more foot traffic to boot.

People who know me personally know very well that I don't drive (though, don't let THAT stop me from reaching perfectly accessible places in downtown South Haven). In fact, any number of absolute strangers to me have probably seen me walking about on the sidewalks as they drove by. (They have; many of them would later corner me at work or in a shop and start prattling about identifying me as "the walker." Uh, thanks; yeah, that's me alright. Oh, and by the way, you are...?)

Venture with me as we explore the ins-and-outs of being/meeting the local pedestrian in a small town (with humor).

BEEP/HONK WITH CAUTION.

Here's the scene: "I'm walking down the sidewalk, listening to my music and trying to keep up a steady gait, potentially steering around others who simply will not get out of the way, trying to avoid being the distraction to a dog's good behavior training, and simply trying to get to POINT B..."

Suddenly...

BEEP! BEEP-BEEP-BEEP! BEEEEEEEP...!

...Even as I peel myself out of the air and somehow calm my heartrate back down (thank you for the extra cardio; not-so-much for the near heart attack, by the way), reasoning kicks in that I probably just know this person. However, you can readily identify me and I can only begin to guess who YOU are through tinted eye-glasses and trying to peer through a car window. Thanks for the thought though; I do love meeting my friends and the sense of acknowledgment...

For the most part, reserve the horn to WARN ME that I've done something wrong/of probable danger/what-have-you. Use it SPARINGLY to simply say "hello."

WHIPPING OUT IN FRONT OF ME TO PULL INTO A DRIVEWAY ACROSS ME TO "INNOCENTLY" OFFER ME A LIFT...

Okay; you're trying to be cordial and I do appreciate you.

But, again, you've identified me and I've identified some vehicle that just swerved across me and pulled out in front of me; especially if I've paused from some distance off and am already concerned about the erratic situation.

Oh; and "pulling over to the side of the road and beginning to throw open doors of your vehicle;" ...uh; no. Just "no." Even when a second glance has POSITIVELY IDENTIFIED these fine Samaritans as members of the same church, pedestrians have been warned against that since they were CHILDREN.

REMARKS ON THE WEATHER/TEMPERATURE/DISTANCE TO WALK...

...I'm aware of ALL of these, thanks; I walked them to get here. You, personally, haven't just changed ANY of it with small talk/snide remarks.

And, if it's bad enough (or it has drastically changed since my leaving home), I am capable of ASKING for a ride home that I know that I can usually find.in a pinch...

"HEY, DON'T YOU DRIVE YET...?"/WHY DON'T YOU DRIVE...?"

...and, for extra points, back into a corner in a very public setting and browbeat me with these questions; then act offended by the simple fact that I don't OWE you an answer.

There are certain questions to ask people to innocently "oh, it's just to get to KNOW you (or your situation)." THAT is not one of them; and, while I don't owe you an answer, if I know you well enough, I might try to provide an honest account.

It is one thing to OFFER ME a lift somewhere (and, whether I accept or not, I thank you). It is another to corner someone and start beating them with difficult/embarrassing questions while a very public audience is there to witness this...

SHARING OF THE SIDEWALK...

Okay, so I need to work on this too.

Naturally, the sideWALK is meant for a lot of foot traffic (more on this in a minute).

In the nice weather or during festivals, that could attract of a lot of EXTRA foot traffic.

During such a time, let us try to remain mindful of one another and SHARE the sidewalk.

Step to one side to make a lane.

Don't ALWAYS force the person meeting you and in actual motion to be the one to move to the grass and risk where a dog previously went potty if only to get around you (and when you do force the issue, bothering to say "excuse me" rather than making a quip about your own rudeness or pointing and laughing could go a long way).

GROUPS are perfectly capable of walking single-file when MEETING another pedestrian.

The sideWALKS are not really meant for standing around and visiting about who knows what or for amateurish photo ops. (Allowances for the photo ops to be made for possibly the pier, maybe the bridge [though it can be extra difficult to pass] and possibly a landmark like the pavilion).

BICYCLES AND SKATEBOARDS AND SKATES...

"...OH $H!+ DEAR!"

There are MANY ways to get around town while staying ACTIVE. To a point, I endorse/advocate/encourage most of them.

We DO have quite a few bike LANES here in town (I understand that they can be kind of treacherous to navigate; and at least two of those bike lanes are very POORLY designed). You can TRY to use them as available. (Oh, and young families ringing some bell to announce themselves just before a pack of giggling bicyclists go flying by an innocent pedestrian who they've just forced out of the way; congratulations, mom n' dad, you are impressing exactly NO ONE).

Skateboarders, we DO have a legitimate skate PARK for your shenanigans (it is a little bit outside of downtown but it's there).

Rollerskaters/-bladers, ...I guess we're out of accommodations. Walk/Jog/Frolic like the rest of us...

Allowances are, obviously, made for wheelchairs whose users DEFINITELY shouldn't be using the bike lane; or be asked to use the ROAD for that matter. In fact, I'll raise you one; a wheelchair isn't about to yield the right of way to a pedestrian either...

THE CROSSWALK SIGNAL...

I hate one particular crosswalk signal in this town like cars hate a despondent red light. It's always a gamble if one particular crosswalk is going to honor the pedestrians' turn in a timely manner or not. Drivers, you have my sympathy.

RIGHT TURNS ACROSS THE PEDESTRIAN LANE RIGHT WHEN THE SIGNAL SAYS I CAN GO/CARS NOT STOPPING UNTIL THEY ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PEDESTRIAN LANE...

...Congratulations; "sympathy" retracted.

It's one thing when a car accidentally ends up beyond the stop line and in the pedestrian lane; for vehicles turning right who wait until I have the right of way, then start rolling into the turn, applying the brake, rolling/applying/rolling/applying/repeat, "Fine; I guess I'm 'chicken'. Just GO already; I'll feel safer and more confident."

STOPPING/CONGREGATING

...Do this to the SIDE of a sidewalk.

I especially hate festival seasons; and particularly on South Pier just as South Haven's permanent Tallship, "The Friend's Goodwill," sails passed; and abruptly FIRES ITS CANNON.

...Once people are done diving for cover, they then promptly stand still as statues and ooh and ahh in honor of the ship as I try to steer around my fellow pedestrians all over again.

Congratulations, "Mr. Friend's Goodwill;" I hate you AND your cannon...

Similarly, the drawbridge leaves absolutely very few spaces to get around people coming from the other direction...

DOGWALKERS

Who doesn't love dogs?

It's their OWNERS/"pet parents" who can stoke my ire.

Make some ATTEMPT to keep Lassie/Fido/Princess/I-don't-know under control and maybe, just maybe, people will WANT to ask to greet them.

Also, please, PICK UP AFTER THEM (and I don't care if they went in the grass. There are times when pedestrians meet one another and one feels forced to yield the right-of-way by crossing through the grass).

MIND YOUR SURROUNDINGS...

...No; I like my MUSIC.

...But, in all seriousness, I make my mistakes too.

Be aware of the people around you and make necessary adjustments.

Mind traffic at intersections and pedestrian crosswalks.

Use PATIENCE (No).

Sometimes, you have to utilize "Excuse me" and pass in the slightest available lane that your fellow pedestrians have bothered to leave you.

(First "Excuse Me."="Excuse Me."

Second "Excuse Me."= "ExCUUSE Me."

Third "Excuse Me." = "(Seriously;) EXCUSE ME."

FOURTH "Excuse Me." = "MOVE 'IT, GET OUT DA' WAY; GET OUT DA' WAY...!"

**The anecdotes and advice herein are true; the DELIVERY is with just enough dry humor to be meant as innocuous, yet advisory. Thank you for your time; keep calm and walk/bike/ride on.**