The Passive Gamer

Banker by day, gamer by night. Juggling with digits or smashing the controller buttons with passion, it’s a brilliant switch of moods.

To be good at it, gaming surely requires a great deal of practice and trust me this one is pretty good at it, at least that’s what I was told. Maybe to impress, maybe not.

In the start of the relationship, it’s all glitter and gold. Hobbies are welcome. Interests are understood. Likes and dislikes, mostly dislikes are very carefully concealed. But, as years pass, making an impression takes a back seat. True selves start to sprout up and suddenly all that was once gold seems to be sterling silver with a slight gold finish. In worse cases, it’s stainless steel. Ouch!

My mind explodes like a missionary attacking the city of love when I hear the words roll off his lips, “babe, gotta go. Game time!”

As a writer, I value words, the art of communication and the meaning behind the conversations. He, not so much and that’s fine. A continuous practice of learning new things about each other is a lifelong process. But, he is surely learning his way up the curve, slowly but surely.

Work limits our quality time but gaming mustn’t suffer at all. “Boys are playing. I have to go. Or actually stay. Watch me play!” he smiles.

One day I surprised him with some intended interest and was he happy? He was excited to share his favourite games to play, explained his strategies while building a Fifa team and when I got to know his gaming name, I wasn’t very comfortable. Conversation didn’t last very long after that. Not dramatic, gaming names are really senseless.

Have you seen what they name themselves? Find it for yourself!

Non gamers can have a tough time dealing with their partners who invest their time and energy in gaming. But there is always a way to settle things. In this case, you can try to learn about the ‘big deal’ behind the craze and madness. It’s mainly enjoyment and fun. So, throw in a subtle hint of interest, value what they are passionate about, love their likings and encourage their gaming hobby. Trust me, their hobbies could be anything else, we don’t want to know and we don’t want to deal with that.

All those who love to game also know that their partner easily gets ticked off by the sound of the innocent little controller. That’s one commonality. Often over an audio call I sense the distraction in his tone, the urge to react loudly over a bad shot in the game while trying to stay sly about it. Somehow, every time I just happen to hear him use his controller. Maybe he’s just harsh with it or my hearing power is too high. Either way, it always annoys me, gets me jittery and the sudden silence whispers to him, indicating tension and anger to which he replies “Babe! I know you can hear me. Please, let me play. I am talking with you too, right? Don’t be like this.” And the moment passes.

Seeing the glint in his eyes when he successfully scores better than his opponent or the frustration he holds when he has to juggle between two screens, being omnipresent and still winning, is an experience. Somewhere along the way I made peace with it. Accepting the play station to be a constant part of this relationship was the best I could do for us. Just be more understanding towards their passions, you’d want them to do the same for you.

And who knows in a few years from now I might start playing too. I look forward to that… perhaps a story for another day!