The Movie 'Fatherhood' Shows Us Exactly How Sexism Hurts Men

I recently watched the movie 'Fatherhood' on Netflix. Kevin Hart plays a single father going through the daily ups and downs of raising a daughter while navigating work, friendships and judgemental family members.

The movie starts off immediately after the birth of the baby and shows his initial attempts to manage a bawling infant. Over the course of the film, we fast forward to when his kid is attending school, where he faces different kinds of challenges as a single parent.

It's an emotional, beautiful, and heartwarming watch, and I highly recommend it to anybody who enjoys dramedies.

The movie shows us how sexism deeply affects men

Throughout the movie, I was struck by the way the creators have portrayed sexism from a man's point of view. I often think of sexism as a women's problem, that women are the sole victims. While this is largely true, this movie beautifully explains how sexism can affect a man who is just trying to do the best for his child.

In the beginning, when Matt (Kevin Hart) claims that he would raise his child by himself, he is faced with incessant discouragement.

His mother and mother in law both express a lack of faith in his ability to raise his own child. When he mentions it to his coworkers, they snigger silently in response.

Here's a man grieving the death of his wife, and overwhelmed by the thought of raising a child by himself. And all society can do is discourage him. At a time when he needs all the emotional support possible, his closest people insist that he cannot succeed.

Nobody would ever say that to a woman.

Nobody would ask a woman to leave her kid with the grandparents and just focus on her work or career. They would acknowledge that she must do everything possible to raise the kid and provide for it as well as possible.

But when a man insists that he is about to try the same, he is met with nothing but skepticism.

There's a particularly powerful scene where he walks into a room that says "Support group for new parents" and is met with a room full of women who refuse to acknowledge that he could be one of them.

It was reminiscent of every instance when a woman in the workplace walks into a meeting room full of men and is dismissed despite her obvious contributions.

Sexism forces men to prioritize work over family

Towards the end of the movie, Matt is expected to travel abroad for a few months as a part of his job. At this point, he has no choice but to leave his kid with the grandparents. While sitting in the airport, waiting for his flight, he realizes that he doesn't want to prioritize his career over his kid, and decides to go back and pick her up.

Often in real life, men want to prioritise family over work. But even in this day and age, such a decision is frowned upon.

I know a friend who wanted to take up a little less work when he was newly married and focus on figuring stuff out in his new relationship. But was terrified of acting on it because his colleagues might have judged him.

My own partner got scoffed at when he once skipped an important business meeting to take care of me when I was ill. He was openly told that he should leave such responsibilities to his mother and focus on his job.

Putting family first comes so easily to women. We've been taught all our lives that it's important. It's ridiculous that men have to struggle with this decision.

We even have policies in place to reinforce this kind of sexism. Maternity leave in India is 6 months, and many companies are ready to provide more leave on an unpaid basis as well. Paternity leave is a meagre 10 days. The system basically tells men that their role as a father isn't important enough to be prioritized.

This kind of sexism is no different from married women and moms who want to work a serious job but are ostracised by their families for not being full-time parents.

I've discussed this issue about lopsided parenting roles with my close friends for years. I'm thrilled to finally see a movie made on the topic, and I hope it starts a conversation among people.

Fatherhood is as important as motherhood, and we need to start respecting both equally.