The Most Graceful Way (I’ve Found) to Accept Life’s Ups & Downs

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance” — Alan Watts

Once all is said and done, there are only three ways to accept life:

• It’s right
• It’s wrong
• It’s neither right nor wrong, it’s just happening

Now, typically, when things are going well life feels right. However, when things are difficult, challenging, or downright painful, life can feel like it’s taken a wrong turn.

But there is another way and that’s to see life from the perspective of number three: It’s neither right nor wrong, it’s just happening.

So, here’s a little story that helps me deal with life’s ups and downs with a little more grace, love, and acceptance.

It’s called the story of maybe.

I’ll see you on the other side.

The Story of Maybe

Back in the day, in a rural village in the Chinese countryside, there was a farmer, his family, and their one working horse. It was a small countryside village where all the neighbours grew up together and shared their lives alongside one another.

On one early morning the Chinese farmer woke up to find that his one working horse had escaped. That was very bad news for the people of the village because their horses were their best asset when working the fields.

That prompted all the neighbours to quickly rush over to the Chinese farmer’s house and say how sorry they were for his loss.

“Maybe.” He simply replied.

The Chinese farmer worked harder than ever that day and he went to bed absolutely exhausted. But as he awoke the next morning, he found that his one working horse had returned with five wild horses, bringing his total number of horses to six.

After seeing his good fortune, all the neighbours came rushing around again but this time to congratulate the farmer’s luck. “How lucky you are!” They cheered.

“Maybe.” He simply replied.

The next morning, the farmer’s son jumped on the back of one of the wild horses as his excitement got the better of him. But soon after, the wild horse kicked him off and the Chinese farmer’s son broke his leg upon impact.

After seeing what had happened, all the neighbours quietly gathered around again that night to say how sorry they were for his son’s broken leg. However, the Chinese farmer knew better. “Maybe.” He simply replied.

The very next day the village got the news that the Chinese government was calling up all the young men for military service and that they must report immediately to the barracks nearest their home. All the neighbours’ sons were drafted the next morning and left for war soon after, but the Chinese farmer’s son, with his broken leg, was allowed to stay home.

All the neighbours came around that night after their sad goodbyes, grieving their family losses and saying how lucky the Chinese farmer was for his son’s broken leg, especially now that he could stay at home with the family.

However, the Chinese farmer knew better by now.

“Maybe.” He humbly replied.

Why this story resonates with me so much

I love this story because it reminds me that we just don’t know what’s good or bad or where any outcome is leading. Something can be great in the beginning, for example, but can soon turn sour. And something can be super painful to start with but actually lead to something far more beautiful than we ever imagined possible.

When we’re in the thick of life and emotions are running high, we sometimes can’t see the bigger picture. But that’s what I love about this story because it allows space for the unknown. It doesn’t need to know everything right now. It doesn’t need to label anything as good or bad or right or wrong. It simply accepts them both matter of factually and waits for the bigger picture to unfold.

Not long after hearing this story, I got to see it play out in real time.

My friend was dealing with a very painful breakup so she had all the right to feel judged and victimised. But instead, through her tears she whispered “It’s not happening to me, it’s just happening” as if reminding herself of a deeper truth.

She chose to see that it was neither good or bad but that it just was what it was.

This then allowed her to process her sadness, grief, and anger more openly and lovingly, ultimately helping her come to a place of acceptance more quickly.

Closing thoughts

The only real decision we have in life is how we respond to any given situation.

As much as we can influence life through our thoughts, words, and actions, we are a minuscule dot on the finely woven tapestry that is the universe in colour. And life will go on with or without us.

So, how we respond is really all we’ve got.

Do we respond in love or fear? Do we see everything as a miracle or nothing as a miracle? Do we see life as right or wrong? Good or bad? Working for us or against us?

Ultimately, whatever we decide to choose determines our entire reality.

This story helps me live more on the loving, open, working for me side and I like that.

I hope you like it too.