The moment(s) I knew

Everyone hopes to find their perfect match. You know, the person who compliments them the best, someone they meet once and can’t imagine living without. You think you know exactly what you’re looking for. For me, I had a type. Tall, lanky, a little nerdy, a good dresser, and someone social and outgoing (since I’m so introverted).

I thought I found him. Robert checked every box. He loved going out and doing things, he was 6’2”, lanky, and pretty nerdy. We clicked almost instantly. I met him right after I graduated high school through a mutual friend. What started out as a quick “happy birthday” text turned into a 3 and a half year long relationship. I thought for sure he was the one. We were long distance, but we still found a way to spend so much time with each other. We went on many adventures and road trips together. We adopted a couple pets. We loved each other’s families.

About 3 years into the relationship, I was offered the opportunity of a lifetime. I was accepted into the Disney College Program. Robert was super supportive; he even agreed to drive down to Florida to help me get moved in. We planned a big trip down to Virginia before I left for Florida. The minute he came to pick me up, I could sense something was off. We had been fighting a little more, but I thought the vacation would help. Boy was I wrong. By the end of the trip, I wasn’t even sure where our relationship stood. I got my answer when he dropped me off at home and said we needed to take a break. Aka, it’s over.

I spent my year in Florida recreating myself. After so long with Robert, I didn’t know who I was alone anymore. I didn’t know who Hannah truly was. After a year, I came back a new person. I was someone I was proud of, and I couldn’t have become that person without Robert tearing me down. I didn’t know at the time, but the break up set me up for the best parts of my life to begin.

When I got home from Florida, I spent more time focusing on myself. I was working towards finishing up my undergraduate degree, saving money, and moving back to Florida. Spoiler alert: moving back to Florida never happened. Thank goodness.

After graduating, I got a job at an animal rescue as the kennel manager. My first managerial task is as to train the other new staff member: Ben York. His first day was the beginning of my next adventure. He was a sarcastic asshole from the start. But that’s okay, because so was I. I could tell immediately that he wasn’t used to people fighting back with the same sass he puts forward. We got along like an old married couple. And then one Saturday, he finally asked me on a date. We had already been spending a good bit of time together and talking on the phone, but he finally asked me on a date. It took me a minute, because he wasn’t my normal type. He’s a ginger, and he prefers to keep to himself. But I thought to myself “what do I have to lose?”

The first date itself was perfect. Ben planned out everything. We went to Dave and Busters, and we got some candy with the tickets we won. We got pizza from Willington Pizza, and Ben even drove us to UCONN so I could introduce him to some of my favorite Morgans. We went back to his apartment, and I got to meet his pride and joy, Envy the dog. We learned a lot about each other over the next few weeks, but it all felt natural. I didn’t feel the need to put up those walls I used to have.

We started to spend a lot of time together. Ben would come to the kennel on his days off to help me out. At one point, we both decided to take one of the “hard to adopt” dogs under our wing. Ben is a dog trainer, and I wanted to learn how to train, so we spent hours after our shifts working with Marcus. Watching Ben work with that dog melted my heart. I will never forget the gleam in his eyes every time Marcus did what was asked of him, or the day Marcus went to his forever home.

I was slow to decide to put a label on what Ben and I were. I was scared to be hurt again, and I was scared to admit my feelings. One day, after I brought him to my graduation party, my family cornered me and asked if the guy I brought home was my boyfriend or what. I told them I wasn’t sure, and they just responded by saying they liked him. I thought to myself, “wait, I also really like him.” That night I called him and basically told him we were dating. That was July 1st, 2019.

In October, we started looking for our first place together. I also lost my first dog in October. I had adopted Chance in July, and he was suffering from a rare disease. When I lost him, I lost a part of myself. Ben saw me at my absolute worst, and he was there the entire time. When I needed a shoulder to cry on, he was there. He even cried with me a little bit. A week later, he even agreed to help me with my new foster dog, a momma pregnant with 6 babies, because he knew I needed it to heal. Ben took crazy Daisy and her 6 boys in stride, even welcoming them all into our first apartment together. He helped me clean up after them, transport them, and even pick out the one I was keeping.

The next couple months flew by. We officially welcomed Finnegan to the family, and we took advantage of what little free time we had together. Things continued to go so smoothly.

In March, COVID hit. At the same time, my car got stolen and quickly deemed a total loss. The same day my car was officially totaled, I was laid off from my job. In the middle of all this, I had also enlisted in the Army. Life was changing all at once for us, and the stress was getting to me. I was more moody, and I know it was rubbing off on Ben. His love for me never wavered. He continued to be my rock through everything, and he was there for me every step of the way. Together, we made the best of a crappy situation, and just a couple weeks later, things started to pick up again and go back to normal for us. The stress only made us stronger.

A month before I was supposed to leave for basic, Ben and I moved into my parents in law apartment. It was a good way for us to save money and for Ben to have somewhere stable to live with the animals while I was gone. And then, just days after the move, I finally figured out how changing Ben actually was going to change my life. He proposed, and it was the easiest yes I’ve ever said in my life (and I suck at making decisions). 3 and a half weeks later, I said my good byes and shipped to Fort Leonardwood to begin my Army training.

Being at basic training has been scary for me, mostly because I get scared Ben doesn’t understand exactly what he signed up. Don’t get me wrong, he has supported me 100% of the way with this decision, even knowing it meant saying goodbye to me for 6 months and then uprooting our entire lives. The lack of contact is hard, but I’ve never once doubted his loyalty and commitment to me, and I don’t think I’ve ever given him a reason to doubt mine. I know our relationship will come out stronger on the other side, because I’m doing this for OUR future. I’m doing this to make him proud to call me his wife.

I think I’ve known for a while that Ben was the man I was going to marry. There were a lot of moments that added up to that realization. I’ve never met someone who completes me so well. We have our individual lives, but we fit them together seamlessly. He is the calm to my storm, and although I could survive without him, I don’t want to. We compliment each other so perfectly, and as cheesy as this sounds, I think we were put on this world to end up together. 6 months is a long time to be away from the love of my life, but it’s nothing compared to the forever we have to make up for it. I can’t wait to become Mrs. York.