The Lost World of Recommendations: Discovered

“Dude, if you love this show then you’ll definitely love Seinfeld” I said to my friend while we watched the TV show Friends. “Aside from the fact that Seinfeld is WAY better… they practically share the same love for friendship, laughter, and the irregular circumstances of life. Just give it a chance, that’s all I’m asking.”

As he nodded his head and said, “I’ll maybe check it out when I got some time”, I knew the possibility of him actually watching Seinfeld was slim. We all know that speech too well. They say they’ll get to it when they’re free but never actually get to it. Yeah, that one. How can we blame them, though? I’m sure we’ve all used it before to get out of a recommendation that we just weren’t interested in enough. And most of the time it has nothing to do with the actual liking of the show. I think it has to do with a splash of laziness mixed with a splash of “what kind of credibility does this dude even have to recommend me something?”. Binge watching a program is a precious time in our day. A time where we kick our feet up, put one hand on our dog, and one hand in a jumbo bag of Lay’s chips. Who are we then to trust some random television amateur of a friend to risk that precious time with their recommendation? We can’t get that time back. It’s gone. It’s lost. Vanished. Poof.

The reality of my friend’s words continued to haunt me in a never-ending cycle. The very thought of him not watching Seinfeld made my skin itch and my hands began to tremble. Why?! I dramatically screamed in my head looking up to the ceiling. Why is life so unfair! It turns out I wasn’t in my head as much as I thought I was, realizing my friend was looking at me amused and confused all at the same time. “What are you doing, he said laughing. You look like an evil scientist that is furious his doomsday weapon won’t work”. I laughed it off, but my mind was still on the matter at hand. I needed to get him to watch my recommendation. I needed to fight for my credibility and fight for my friend’s fulfillment of his precious binge-watching time! But I couldn’t do it alone, I needed something to support me. What, though? Should I call my mom? She's very supportive. No… what the hell am I talking about. The ideas in my head began to turn foggy, I’m losing him god dammit, think! Sweat dripping down my forehead, I can barely feel my legs. His damn couch is probably soaked by now. If I can just think of… wait! I got it. Without hesitation I jumped from my seat like a startled squirrel and blurted out, “So have you heard of that cool program Decider? It’s totally cool, dude. It like, helps you decide on the best programs to watch based on your preferences.” I explained that like a goof ball, I thought to myself. Am I even making sense? There’s no way he’s going to care about this. But a miracle took place instead and it turns out, I had made sense. Like a jumping jaguar out of the trees, my friend sprung from his seat with a look of excitement on his face. “Did you say… Decider? he said. Tell me more.” I could’ve sworn he was being sarcastic with me as we normally are, but this guy was genuinely intrigued. I couldn’t believe I was in. Looking him right in the eyes, tears dripping down my cheek, I raised my hand to my forehead and gave salute. “You bet I will, comrade” I said almost breaking out in more tears. I was one step closer to having my first recommendation launched into the realm of precious binge watching.

I showed my friend the Decider platform and walked him through the options. He loved it. “I’m totally going to use this when I’m stuck on what to watch” he said. But I still needed a little extra push to really complete this collaborative formula. The favorite episode clip strategy. You heard me. The big guns were coming out now to win this war. I wasn’t going to stop at anything. I reached for the remote, checking my shoulders for the enemy. All clear for take off. As I searched YouTube in the browser, all I could feel was the warm summer breeze in my face like I loved as a kid. The trees brushing in the wind. My mom calling me over for lunch and my tiny little feet skipping in the soft grass. Oh what a-

“Dude… my friend says chuckling again as he sees me daydreaming into thin air. Aren’t you going to type something in?”

“Oh right!” I said snapping out of my euphoria. I continued to search up one of my favorite clips from an episode of Seinfeld. I had to precisely pick one that would likely make him laugh or at the very least, a dreaded nose whistle. Regardless, I knew this episode would catch his attention. How couldn’t it, it’s too damn interesting! This technique not only gives him a feel for the show but also allows him to truly accept and welcome it into his binge-watching schedule.

“Aright dear friend… I present to you a clip from one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes, “The Lip Reader”. Get ready for the laugh of a lifetime I said, while thinking my hopes may be a little to high on this approach. Boy was I wrong, though. He seemed to genuinely enjoy it as we laughed in sync at the hilarious moments throughout the clip.

“To be completely and utterly honest with you, I enjoyed that more than I thought I ever would, my friend said. It had a comforting humor to it and a cast I felt like I can grow to love. It’s official, I will begin to watch Seinfeld tonight in your honor.” I did it! I thought to myself. For victory and glory! For recommendations that make it to the other side!

“Oh, so you had time today after all, huh?” I said.

“I always have time, brother.” he said as we both laughed and brought it in for a bro hug to seal the deal.