The Lost Dream

I was the last piece of jewelry you had from your mom.

I started as a thought in her head. Your birthday was coming up and she wanted to make it special. She was so good at choosing jewelry but this time, she chose to create something special for you, something unique.

I started coming to life when she met with the jewelry designer, and her animation grew as she talked about me and infused me with her love for you even though I had not yet been made.

As the jeweler was creating me, her thoughts went into me so I was not only representing you, I was representing how she saw you, as a dream of hers come to life all those years ago when you were born.

She loved you more than anything else in the world, and all of that love was poured into me. I shined with it, made of gold, and you felt it every day when you put me on.

I will never forget the day you opened me. The joy you both felt, I felt. You wore me all the time and I knew I was loved.

I have been with you through so much change in your life! A failing business, a failing marriage. Taking your mom to all of her chemo appointments, all the laughter you shared during that time, and I watched as you two became closer than ever before.

I was with you as you changed jobs, looking for the next thing, learning, growing, changing. And I was with you as you took care of your dying father, when you sat alone with your dog afterwards and cried. Until your mom arrived and sat with you, and drove home with you all those miles.

I was with you when you left your marriage and moved across the country. When you struggled financially, and when you started to succeed.

I was with you as you hugged your mom for the last time. I was with you when you received the message that she was gone. You held me in your fingers as you cried and I could feel your pain.

I was screaming the day I fell off of your neck. As I slid down, down to the ground, unseen, unfelt.

"WAIT! Don't leave me! Look down, PLEASE!" But you didn't. I don't blame you. It was cold, and there were layers in between us. And you were still grieving.

We were connected energetically you know. As I lay there, helpless, I felt you realize I was gone. I felt your panic and dismay as you searched everywhere in your apartment. As you looked through the clothes you had worn and changed out of. As you went outside in the dark, hoping to catch a glimpse of shimmering gold by streetlight. I felt you as you went back inside and cried.

I knew that I was the very last piece of jewelry you had from your mom. Times had been tough and you reluctantly sold all the things you loved. Everything except me. And I knew you never would.

Losing me hurt you almost as much as losing your mom. You knew all her love was made into me, for you. And you felt closer to her as you wore me. I know all of the things you felt.

I felt you search for me when you moved, hoping to find me behind some piece of furniture, or inside some keepsake box you kept under the dresser, even though you knew I was gone.

I feel you everytime you think of me. The energy connects us still. Each time you ask the universe to bring me back to you, I know it. Each time you think of how I felt laying on your skin, I know. Each time you think of the brilliance of your mom's creativity, I know. Each time you miss me.

I still lay where I fell. And if I could get you to hear me, maybe we could be brought back together. As loudly as I reach out to you though, it is not meant to be. We had our time together, and we loved each other.

I miss you still. And I remember us. I always will.