The Lessons I'm Learning as a Growing Adult

Adulthood is messy. It’s chaotic. It’s what we call a “hot mess express.”

It’s both ridiculously confusing and incredibly rewarding. In my 24 years, there are timeless lessons that I’ve learned from the simplicity of washing my face every single day to the deep-rooted ones like remembering to never settle for less that I deserve. I’m nowhere near the end of my journey and every day I walk this Earth, I learn something new about the ways to exist and cohabitate with myself and with others.

Let me have the opportunity to share some of my most rewarding life lessons with you, and let me tell you, what’s most rewarding about these is that they were learned in the hardest way possible.

It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to beg for permission. This isn’t an easy one, especially for the more quiet and reserved, like myself. Let me just tell you though, there is nothing in the world more rewarding than doing what they say you couldn’t do, not to spite them, but to prove it to yourself. You can always ask for forgiveness later, and if they aren’t willing to forgive you for actions that empowered you, then maybe they weren’t meant to be in your life to begin with.

Speak in a way that forces people to listen. Let the words that fall from your mouth empower, enlighten, and guide the way for those who are lost or in need of a voice.

Not everyone in your life is meant to stay. Some people enter your life for a season when you need them most. It doesn’t mean their love was temporary, and it doesn’t mean their presence isn't meaningful. Some people aren’t meant to stick around forever, and that’s okay.

Your energy introduces you before you ever open your mouth, so protect it. Don’t let your energy become toxic, negative, and full of weight. Be light, fun, smile often, and be the person who makes everyone in the room feel like someone.

Make boundaries for absolutely everything in your life. This is your armor. Boundaries are what protect you from the “life suckers” like bad bosses, negative conversations, and overwhelming schedules. It’s uncomfortable. It’s hard. It might make you feel like you’re not being the best partner, employee, sibling, child, or parent, but it protects your heart and your energy, and that’s the only way you can give to others.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. It seems timeless, and it is, but you can’t give what you don’t have, and the only way you possess love, time, compassion, empathy, and forgiveness is to first give it to yourself.

You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea; that’s okay. Not everyone is going to fall head over heels for you, but that’s okay. Give love to the world anyway, and watch it return.

The world is oversaturated with bad news. Don’t contribute. There’s always going to be bad news. It never goes away. You don’t have to contribute to every negative conversation. Sometimes you need to just digest it and move on.

Strive for success in happiness, not in dollars. While money makes your life more comfortable, it doesn’t make your existence a happier one. Your passions are what do that. Strive to find joy in not only building a career for yourself, but for also finding joys in the passions that you love.

Being uncomfortable doesn’t mean you're doing it wrong. In fact, sometimes it means just the opposite.

Tell people you love them. All the time. Be annoying about it. Tell them in ways other than saying “I love you.” Sometimes a “text me when you get home” or “Is there something I can take off your plate for you?” is the best way to show someone how much you care.

Life doesn’t have a dress rehearsal. You live once. You get to experience life for only so many years, and in the grand scheme of the universe, the time that we spend on this Earth is so small. Don’t waste a moment of it second guessing.

When you’re older, you’re going to regret more of the things that you didn’t do rather than the things that you did, so go out and do all the crazy things that you’ll have stories to tell later.

Heal yourself before you try to love someone else. Relationships are one of the hardest things you will ever do, but just know that you can’t expect someone else to love you if you don’t love yourself first.

Your career isn’t everything. We’ve all heard it before. A job will replace you but your family can’t. It’s okay to be career focused. Trust me, that’s me! But you have to remember that there will always be an empty seat at the table every time you choose to stay late at work rather than come home to your family.

Having a plan is one of the best treats you can give yourself. Being organized and willing to plan things out will make life infinitely easier. Even though spontaneity is enjoyable at times, having a plan for how you want things to go or work out will make the manifestation of your dreams and goals more attainable.

Not every goal you set will be met. It doesn’t mean you have to kill yourself trying to achieve them all. The most selfless thing you will ever do for yourself is acknowledge that some dreams of yours will be outgrown, and all that does is give you more room to create new ones.

Not everyone deserves you, so make sure you don’t give yourself freely to everyone who waltzes into your life. You have to learn the difference between quality and quantity. Some people are placed in your life simply to show you what your love is worth.

Stop walking past your reflection in the mirror without giving yourself a smile. You’ve done some amazing things in your life, and you’re going to continue. I just know it. Don’t give up on yourself, keep pushing through hardships, and put nothing but love into this world. Your return on investment will be worth it, I promise.