The Disadvantages of Perfectionism

Despite the positive reactions it generates at first glance, perfectionism is not a guarantee of success, but a method of self-sabotage that often leads to failure.

In today's society, perfectionism can be perceived as a new disease that affects millions of people. It translates into the need to have control over one's own life and, at the same time, the constant desire to be the best. Most people who practice perfectionism are the ones who have been taught since they were little, by their parents, that they have to be the best.

Subsequently, perfectionism is developed over time under the pressure of external factors, whether it is the need to perform at work, or the competitiveness generated by the economic and social context.

However, the unseen face of perfectionism shows that this lifestyle cannot be adopted by everyone, nor is it desirable, because the negative impact it has generates anxiety, decreased self-confidence, and the feeling of failure, leading to depression, even in those who seem to have very good results.

However, this imposed attitude cannot always be effective, and the changes it brings with it influence the physical and mental state of the person in question in the medium and long term. What happens when the desire to become the best overwhelms you and why do you have to intervene?

You always feel the need to please others

As I mentioned before, perfectionism usually starts in childhood. Even from an early age, we are told to aim as high as possible, whether it is parents or teachers, receiving rewards for their efforts. When efforts do not bring success, punishment appears, which perfectionists learn to accept as part of the whole process.

Unfortunately, high school grades will cause a great deal of frustration for the future adult, if he does not learn quickly enough that the only person in front of whom he must always be better is his person.

Always postpone the moment to start something

You never feel ready enough to do one thing and you keep promising that you will get started at some point. One reason is the fact that most of the time you set great goals, sometimes inconsistent with reality and your abilities. As a result of successive delays, uncertainty sets in and then the fear of doing something else, in which case failure is getting closer.

Because this mental blockage lasts for a long time, it is often confused by those around you with procrastination, but it is not a deliberate choice on the part of the person facing this problem. In most cases, this stage results in anxiety and, later, the onset of depression.

You don't get things done because of uncertainty

You've probably faced the point of having an article to write and not being able to complete it at some point because every time you feel like it's not good enough you've already done it and you feel the need to come back. .

Things get more difficult as you try to change your attitude and you fail, which is why you have an even lower yield and you want to give up everything. To overcome this impasse requires perseverance and a lot of patience because the process requires patience and effort.

Forget being curious, forget being creative

All the aspects mentioned above generate the creation of strong pressure on the individual, on the one hand, because there is a psychological blockage, and on the other hand because time in such situations is never your friend.

In this context, curiosity, and interest disappear, because the joy of doing what you love cannot be present in such conditions, and creativity is completely lacking due to the uncertainties that led to the installation of distrust in oneself.

You are critical of others and adopt defensive behavior when criticized

Criticism of others is the result of the defensive mechanism you have developed: you reject from others what you do not accept in your person, and in the case of perfectionists there are certainly many things that I feel the need to criticize.

As a result, their behavior toward others often tends to be discriminatory. On the other hand, you hardly accept criticism and usually react aggressively, because you take any remark as an attack on your person, thinking that you are not good enough. In this way, you do not get any benefit from the discussions you have and you lose contact with the real situation.

The vicious circle in which you turn will force you at some point to take a stand and reconsider your relationship with others, learning to differentiate between the idea and the person. Unfortunately, learning this lesson has the effect of weakening friendships or professional relationships.

The relationships you create are characterized by superficiality because perfectionism takes up most of your time. The sobriety, detachment, and lack of involvement you show keep those around you away. No one likes to be burdened with the stress and tension of another.

You do not know how the joy of achievement feels

Completing a thing is a state of gratitude for the work done, which is why we feel the need to enjoy the completion of a task every time, regardless of whether we have sometimes done better or worse. Perfectionists seldom succeed in doing this, worrying about the results they will get.

This only amplifies the unhappiness they are in and creates the same needs that are impossible to satisfy. Therefore, the advice is to try to be the best version of yourself, giving up the comparison with others and, most importantly, their appreciation.