The day I discovered I was a unicorn

My boyfriend and I were rushing down a crowded highway on December 25. Christmas Day. And company was going to arrive in 30 minutes.

The sun was blaring into the car, blessing us with summer-like warmth. To me, it felt like I was a meteor flying through the atmosphere, burning and about to hit the ground, hard.

Approximately 2 hours ago, I'd shown him my porn preferences.

"I don't really care if it's a girl or a boy," I said, casually. He remained silent on the bed. He didn't partake in any fun. He just watched what I'd tapped, what I'd scroll past, and what made me stop scrolling.

While doing 80 on the I-41, he asked me a question. One with no take-backsies.

"Why do you think that I would care if you liked girls?"

The question came out of nowhere. It shattered the silence and the beautiful hum of his SUV's engine, a sound I never cared about until this very moment. I wanted to hear it over and over again, and nothing else.

I remained quiet. My brain went blank.

"So, are you bi, or what?" my boyfriend asked me in a blunt Wisconsin accent.

Oh god, I thought. This is only a question I wrestled with in my own head, and now, the love of my life was dying to know.

Do I tell him?

Or do I fake it?

I've lied to myself this whole time. Will once more hurt?

Adrenaline surged through my body in response to his question. My stomach sank at the reality of the truth.

I was bi. And this whole time, nearly three decades of life, I thought of myself as straight. I had a boyfriend, for Christ's sake. Didn't that mean anything?

"Yes," I said meekly.

I stared at the road flying past us like a deer in his headlights.

I couldn't believe I'd finally said it. Aloud. In front of my boyfriend.

What was I doing?

"You shouldn't be afraid to say it," he said. "You won't be judged. Not by me."

My bisexual tendencies were something I brushed off. I researched articles that justified women's attraction to other women with science.

Worst of all, I believed them.

"Haven't you known for a long time?" he asked.

I ignored my feelings and pushed them deep, deep down, and never allowed myself to even think about another girl in real life that way.

"I've never really thought about it unless I was alone," I admitted. I sounded star struck. I didn't even recognize my own voice. "Safely watching from a screen."

Revealing the truth gave me flashbacks of the only other biggest lie of my life: the fact that Santa didn't exist. And the people I trusted most had convinced me otherwise, making a fool out of 8-year-old me.

I felt like a fool now, at 28, even though it's supposed to be nothing to feel ashamed about. It was something that was out of my control, and I wanted to control it so badly. It didn't make sense to me why I was different from other girls.

But I'd been this way from as young as I can remember.

Despite feeling like my world had imploded, I felt a wave of relief replace the adrenaline. My boyfriend was beyond sweet to accept me for who I truly am.

And, thanks to the anonymous contributors of Reddit, I'd later find out why I had a boyfriend. I was a heteroromantic bisexual, meaning I only had romantic feelings for guys, but I was sexually attracted to both guys and girls.

My eyes darted toward the car's clock. Just 15 more minutes, and my dad and brother would be over for a holiday dinner.

What a day—and what a time—to discover that I was bi.

We drove past a building lined with red lights.

"Want to go to the titty bar?" my boyfriend would normally ask me, teasing me. He knew it would make me upset.

Today was no different.

"Yes," I said.

And this time, I meant it.

"I do."

That's when I made a vow to myself that I wouldn't keep any more secrets. Not from my boyfriend. Not from myself.

I exhaled.

I felt so free, like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders.

I could finally think about girls without feeling guilty.

I could finally appreciate their beauty instead of hating them, under the guise that I was jealous.

I could finally touch them the way I imagined.

I could finally loosen up, for the first time in my life.

I could finally be me.

A real unicorn.