The Colors of Duality

In search of meaning and attempts at understanding, my all-too-human mind then seeks to assign it value. I critically judge the things that I cannot yet comprehend in hopes of choking out its meaning. I pull the noose in a myriad of ways. By deeming part of it to be true and dismissing the other as false. By embracing the white to be good and shunning the black as an evil. And, of course, by traversing one path as the right one, never exploring the other because it is wrong.

I've yet to find a peace that gives me comfort. It's always been fleeting and has simply made more questions. So the only thing that I can wrap my mind around is the unfathomable: perhaps it is possible that all of it is true. Maybe everything is good and everything is bad, completely right and wholly wrong. Or, it is just as likely that all of it is nothing but a mythical lie.

Given the subjective nature of this realization, it might be easy to take the coward's path and say there is no meaning. But just as I have done in my previous assertion, I choose instead a more passionate route. If it is meaningful to you, it has meaning. That is what we are here for after all, to find the meaning of ourselves.

What I have found is altogether different than the tranquil blue of peace. It is the reds and golds of love that can withstand the fires of both sex and hate. It is the purple of hearts that bleed just before they freeze. And, of course, it is the gray that lies in all of us when we can no longer tell which of the colors we really want or even which one we truly are.

It occurs to me now that this is what they mean when they say the god Shiva is the transcendent counterpart to the forces of Shakti's primordial love. Because it is only if we can get past these stifling designations that we can love unlimited. And it is only from a place of this kind of love that anything real can be created. If we can see that we are the entire spectrum of light and colors-and even more-then we will understand the truth of it. We will understand that we are pure. And we will see our own black hearts. We'll know for sure that we've gone crazy and we'll think sanely for the first time in our lives. And, because of all this, we will know, with peace and unease, that we are infinite.