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The Color Wheel Theory of Love

Love manifests itself in different ways.

By Vera TischenkoPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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by Joel Overbeck on Unsplas

Love manifests itself in different ways. In order to better understand this complex emotion, specialists and philosophers have come up with their own theories.

One such theory is the Color Wheel Theory of Love, which was conceptualized by John Alan Lee. His take on love is divided into 2 categories: primary and secondary. Much like the color theory, the secondary consists of a combination of two primary love styles.

These types of love help us discern the people we see as potential partners. Here are some of the love styles that you may be quite familiar with:

Primary Traits

1. Eros

Eros is what people know as passionate love. This love is idealized by many, especially during Valentine’ day.

Eros is love shared between two people who are deeply infatuated with each other. It’s intense and almost immediate. This is the kind of love that can launch a thousand ships and instigate wars.

2. Ludus

Ludus is characterized by a person’s tendency to view love as a game. The people whose relationships fall under this category tend to be playful and flirtatious.

They focus on enjoying the conquest of love instead of treating it as a lifetime commitment. Hence, the relationships that involve Ludus are often short-lived and casual.

3. Storge

Storge is the type of love you hold for someone you desire a non-romantic companionship with.

Storge is the Greek word for familial love and puts family ties above anything else.

by Simon Maage on Unsplash

This love can also apply to those who you view as a family member — it doesn't necessarily have to be blood-related.

Secondary Traits

4. Pragma (Ludus + Storge)

Pragma or Practical Love is the result you get when you mix Ludus and Storge.

This type of love prioritizes compatibility over chemistry. They rule relationships with logic and practical thinking.

People with this love style tend to stick strictly to the qualities that they look for in a partner. They weigh the pros and cons to determine whether it’s a relationship worth pursuing or not. This love style tends to be more calculative, which can make it seem cold and aloof.

5. Mania (Eros + Ludus)

by Eric Ward on Unsplash

This style of love depends on their partner to fulfill their emotional needs and their desire to be loved. This often entails codependency, jealousy, and obsession.

People that develop this form of love tend to rely on their partner for assurance. If their needs aren’t accommodated, they can feel anxious and paranoid, making them feel insecure in the relationship.

If not addressed, this love can often result in a toxic codependent relationship.

6. Agape (Eros + Storge)

The unconditional love.

Agape is considered the highest form of love in Christianity. This form of love is best expressed through the commitment to care for each other without repayment. The foundation of this love relies on mutual respect and pure love for one another.

This spectrum of love is selfless and all-giving.

The Journey to Finding the Love You Need

It can be hard to find someone who fits the bill of what you are looking for in a partner. It is even more so when your options aren’t very varied.

Expand your choices and give matchmaking a try. This way you’ll have better luck in finding a partner.

After all, there's no better way of knowing than to experience it yourself, right?

Vera Tischenko, Dating Coach and Professional Matchmaker

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About the Creator

Vera Tischenko

Dating Coach and Professional Matchmaker for Kiev Women

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