The Boy Who Loved Me

No, it’s not about a guy I was in a relationship with. No, we didn’t have it complicated. No, I was not in a relationship with someone else while he pined for me. It was nothing. He was a nobody to me. I didn’t mean anything to him. I think I knew him. He knew of me. We were strangers who would share a passing glance occasionally but mostly avoid each other.

I know what you’re thinking. If it was nothing but just an attraction, then why am I talking about this? I know this sounds like a cliché but that boy came into my life like a wrecking ball, crushed everything in and around me, and made me transform into an individual I’m proud to be today.

I used to think why is it that there are tons of guys around me, far better looking and far more intelligent than this guy, still I’m drawn to him. I would often imagine him having this invisible power over me. Now that I reminisce the day, a year ago, when I confessed my feelings for him, I know what it was that made me want to burn like a moth in his flame.

The thing I realized was that he was everything that my surroundings were not. Hold on, this might sound corny, but he was an Adam Sandler in a world filled with Ryan Goslings. And honestly, I’ve always liked Adam Sandler for some reason.

I remember the exact date, the faded green top I wore, the white shirt he wore the day I decided to tell him. Well, what do you think happened, we barely knew each other so he said no. If I’m being honest, yes, I was half expecting he’d say something that would sound similar to what I just said but then even you know by now, that was wishful thinking.

Today, as I’m sitting here in my home with a passion for life like I’ve never known, I can’t help but remember him and just thank him in my head. I have now come to the realization that he did love me, he loved the human me so much that he had the power to crush me and then liberate me. Angels are supposed to be good peeps, right? That’s who he was, an angel in the dark who showed me the way to my liberated self.

As I started to move on in my life, I started to do things that would make me happy. The whole blogging thing took off because I started to maintain a journal at my worst. I bought a piano and still practice it religiously on weekends, I wanted to know more about Greek mythology so I bought a book and started reading it. I wanted love and comfort in my life, so I made more time for family and friends. Most of all, I wanted validation, I wanted someone to tell me how great I am, so I stood in front of the mirror and said the magical words.

Over the span of this one year, I’ve found myself to be the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I think if I would add up all of my growing years and just compare it to this one particular year, I’d find that I’ve grown the most this year. I’ve become extremely self-aware and know exactly what I want. I dream of vivid dreams that make me stay awake. It’s as if at the break of dawn, I was declared king and just like the ruler that I am, I hold the scepter now.