The Aphrodite Spectrum

Love

...is the glue that holds EVERTHING together. Without it, life would be impossible...

Love is an invisible force of nature, touching our lives one soul at a time. Without it, life would be impossible...

The power alone contained within love can rival the energy output of a thousand suns. Love, in a sense is a singularity, a collective emotional experience. Our different interpretations of what love is to us, defines it precisely. It’s more than the sum of its parts. Even if you've never experienced being in love, the word itself holds meaning for you independent of the experience. The love of family, a pet, your favorite food, or even a TV show tells me you know what it is. The difference between saying you like something versus you love something is a huge leap whether we realize it or not. To like something means there is a keen interest. To love something means you gravitate towards it and will remember to come back for more.

I love writing. I will always return to it. Even if I have nothing of importance to say, I will improvise because it's something I love to do.

I like riding my bike, but I don't love it. Therefore, it will sit there waiting for the next time I decide — you know what, I think I'd like to take a ride today.

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I have fallen in love several times in my life. My parents never warned me about the uncertainties of it... It's something you have to know for yourself.

To fall in love with someone is equivalent to floating on a cloud of bliss laced with tunnel vision. For a time, everything else becomes secondary. As long as I get to spend as much time as possible with them, who cares about anything else. Is this an act of selfishness? I think not. It's an act of prioritizing a newfound feeling of connectiveness. This strong feeling of being connected to someone outside myself overrides my sense of self-protection and I willingly let them into my life. I open every door of mine they wish to enter. I share intimate details with them as the trust I find in them allows mental walls made of steel to be breeched. I want them to know as much as they want to know about me.

The discovery of having things in common adds to the feeling that this is going in the right direction.

The feeling is mutual when their sincere, caring and inquisitive actions speak for themselves. They are in love with me too. It's a glorious feeling.

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We are designed to love another. Individuality would have very little purpose and could never thrive without togetherness. We need each other to remedy our sense of loneliness. We need each other to move forward this thing called life.

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When the feeling isn't mutual, and you are the only half in love, you begin to see the dark side of it. You can't make someone love you; it comes naturally. Instead, you have fallen in love with the idea of being with someone who has demonstrated signs of caring for you. Caring is a form of love but hasn't necessarily crossed over to a sensation that leads to emotional attachment. It may never move past the caring stage for them.

Can you remember the first time you fell in mutual love and who said the ‘L’ word first? Sometimes it's a slip of the tongue, sometimes it's premeditated - Tonight, I think I'm going to tell her I love her. Logical questions develop — Will it be premature? How will they react? Will they say it back? They definitely heard you say it and is either relieved that you said it first or becomes an awkward moment for them, confirming they don't feel the same. This, of course, is just one of many outcomes for why they don't say it back and could mark the beginning to the end of a dating relationship, leaving you in love limbo. They stop answering your calls and texts. They make excuses for why they can't see you. In most cases they quickly break up with you because the timing was off. They were headed in the same direction as you but wasn't there yet and was scared off by being put on the spot.

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Perhaps, you are the type who falls too fast and are frequently faced with rejection. There is little advice for you in these situations. That's only because it’s not a flaw, it’s just a part of who you are. Impressions of kindness, dreams of togetherness, speed things along for you.

Rejection, unfortunately leads to the negative side. Love can hurt. You've become lost without that person whose attention held your attention. You desperately want to call them or hope you run into them but in this case, it's a lost cause.

It's not easy talking yourself off the ledge when you are in love. It's a slow process letting go. In the meantime, you torture yourself with endless thoughts of them, wondering where they are and what they are doing. You get lost in your head remembering the playful times you had frolicking under the sun or catching a movie or sharing a dessert or just passing time on the couch talking. This can go on and on in your mind until you wake up one day not caring anymore. Maybe you will continue to care about them, maybe you will resent them for what you believe is their fault for leading you on. Who knows, right? So much to consider.

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If you are lucky enough to find your soulmate, you've likely experienced love at first sight. There is a certain, familiar energy to some of the people we meet throughout life. Is it because you subconsciously know that your personalities match? Whether it's a new friend or a romantic pursuit, it all feels too right, and you instantly click.

Most, if not all of us, believe things happen for a reason. This makes it easier to understand the concept of mystical arrangements as applied to relationships. I read an article once that had an impact on my beliefs about them. It's no coincidence that you met. The laws of attraction and power of intuition are hard at work to help these meetings occur. I've heard many stories of how people met, they reinforce the belief that the crossing of paths was somehow mentally arranged by your thoughts of finding the right people to be in your life. It was supposed to happen this way. You were supposed to meet.

Here's a quick example from a true story I read. It tells of a time when a young woman's ex-boyfriend kept asking questions throughout the day about whether she was still going to work that night. She assured him she was going but knew there was a party planned that he would be attending. She became suspicious. She asked her boss if she can leave early when business slowed down. Well, she of course found him with another girl. She was crushed by her boyfriend's actions, but the story doesn't end there. She met her future husband at the party that night. If the boyfriend never roused her suspicion, she would have finished her shift, and the opportunity to bring this new person into her life may have never happened. It transpired exactly the way it was supposed to.

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Love will find a way. It's the ultimate emotional rush. It can build us up, take us down then hang us out to dry. It can heal us. It can teach us. It will lead us to ruminate about our idea of completeness. It can sway our decisions. It can cause trouble by morphing into obsession. It can overwhelm other emotions. It can be debilitating...

Yet, we haven't even scratched the surface of what love is capable of.

Above all... it feels good. Love feels good.