The angel of the wheat field

I was exhausted, but I couldn't sleep. I had used a lot of cocaine that night, really too much. So I swallowed a phenomenal amount of sleeping pills.

I finally fell asleep...

Too hard, too fast, too clumsily... Because I had an overdose.

I dreamed that I was in front of a huge wheat field.

Beside me was an angel, a beautiful woman with blond hair like wheat, slender, dressed in a long white dress, which waved slightly in the wind.

The sky was of a calmly pale blue.

In her hands, the angel carried an album.

The album containing photos of me since my birth.

Not photos that I had taken, but photos that had never been taken, photos of the most beautiful moments, of the most significant moments of my life.

She began to turn the pages, and as I grew older, the wheat fields changed with the seasons: Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter...

And I saw myself growing at the same time.

And then everything disappeared! I then found myself in front of a mirror with a silver outline, in a kind of dark void, only the mirror emanated light.

I looked at myself, and I was overwhelmed by a feeling of very deep love, something divine. The angel was no longer there, but I could feel the love of an entire city, all the love I had received in this earthly life.

Was I dead?

I woke up with a start in my bed. Sitting on my bed, in the dark, I noticed the strange lightness of my body.

I turned around, and I noticed, with amazement, that I was "sitting on my body". In fact, my carnal envelope had come out of the body, and the body remained there, motionless, inanimate...

I was... dead.

I had an idea that seemed genius to me: stretch out through my body, in the exact position of it, to reincarnate it. As I performed this feat, I hoped with all my heart to return to my body.

Go hop, I wake up.

To my dismay, my body was still stretched out, and I hadn't reincarnated it.

I repeated the experience. The more I tried, the more eagerness came over me. I KNEW I had very little time left before I got back to my body.

Then, I saw a sort of tunnel, from which came a voice, very warm, very soft: the angel.

She said to me: ''Are you sure that you want to regain your body? are you sure you want to live? How much do you want to live?''

I thought back to my life at this moment, the unhealthy and suffering debauchery in which I was drowning at this moment. I was in so much pain. I understood what the voice wanted to tell me, but I didn't give up. The dream had given me the taste to live.

I was screaming silently. My soul cried out to the angel, ''Yes, I want to live! Yes, yes, I want to live!''

I heard: ''So you have to try again and feel deep inside you this desire to live''

I tried the experience again, and I felt, like a chronometer, in my soul.

My body was still lying, and I was sitting.

I felt myself leaving.

I tried one last time.

I got up from my bed, as if propelled by an electric current. I took a huge breath of air, as if I had run out.

I was alive again.