That’s Because you have a daughter.

I’ve been trying to write this for ages but it’s never flowed from me the way I wanted it to. A while back I was having a conversation about women and how men treat them. My ex friend suddenly said in the midst of our conversation

“That’s because you have a daughter.”

And I paused for a moment thinking I’ve known men that have daughters and it’s made no difference to them. In fact they were worse only caring about their sons or just not present in their daughters life. Or even thinking that women were only good for birthing babies. Seeing them as less than.

In fact I remember awhile back getting into an argument with one of these dads because I wanted more for my daughter than her being birthing stock and a male support being. I want my daughter to enjoy her life chase her dreams and be whomever she wants to be.

Sadly enough, all this came back to me because of Supergirl. Now I’m not going to say it’s the greatest movie in the world. But I started seeing people hate on it before they even saw it. Now this is bad enough but what followed was even worse. I suddenly started to see posts about Milly Alcocks looks. Now if you want to say hey the movie sucks I really don’t see what the young ladies looks have to do with it. In fact I posted a supergirl video on TikTok and men were just posting these pics making fun of her looks. 

I also don’t understand this need to hate on a movie and make sure other people don’t see it. It comes from a deeper place of malice where they have to destroy the movie; going out of your way to make sure that people hear what you think about it. Being upset when people don’t agree with your assessment, your will. Sadly enough it’s the way society is now, where, how dare anyone disagree with you.

I know what you’re saying, “hey Ralf you’re making something out of nothing”. I disagree because those that want to spread this way of thinking don’t want you to have your own thoughts. Or they try to minimize the harm they are doing; so they can continue to do what they do guilt free. Not that these people have any guilt in what they do. When you think you’re right (or feel entitled) you will excuse yourself for these ugly wrongs.

Ok, need more? so you can see my point Well let’s have a flashback. I’ve been doing Bittenappletv now for 10 years and in the geekdom far longer than that. My BFF Cadma and I would go to conventions and talk to people in the geekdom. What would usually happen is that she would talk to a guy. He would look at her make a judgement call and they would Talk to me instead of her. It was weird cause I was just the cameraman at the time and Cadma was the one doing the interviews. So they would make a decision this is a woman she knows nothing about…

Comics

Video Games

Acting

Superheroes

Fandoms

And on and on.

Here’s an example, Cadma is a huge Final Fantasy Fan, we were at the Final Fantasy booth at NYCC. She excitedly walks over and starts chatting with one of the representatives for the booth. She starts asking inquisitive questions and the guy looks at her then to me and starts answering her questions to me. I stop the guy and say “woe she’s the Final Fantasy expert and the one asking you the questions”.

Here is another one we are at a comic con walking around doing interviews. She sees a book she’s interested in and goes over to talk to the guy. The guy looks at her then looks over to me to answer her questions. I stop him telling him I’m just the cameraman and she’s the one interested in his book. Also “she’s the boss and she decides what interviews we do”. Right away he starts talking to her and doesn’t apologize. 

I say apologize because they were being rude and before one of you goes oh the little lady got her feelings hurt. Nobody got their feelings hurt, there was no conversation about hurt feelings but their was a conversation about how rude that was. Rude is rude stop trying to excuse it! Why is it that you can do something wrong and then be all like awe you got your feelings hurt. Instead of admitting that you were an obnoxious well A…(let’s leave it there, otherwise this won’t be posted) and did something wrong.

A lot of the time people are like, they wouldn’t do this to their mother, their sister, their wives, yet some are already treating those closest to them like this. Hence my thought on this.

I’ve always been like this there have been many times where I’ve stepped in to protect. For example there was one time where I was at a party and this young lady I knew was really drunk. I kept her close to me and kept an eye on her. Some guy who was trying to take advantage of the fact that she was drunk got annoyed at me and called me a CockBlocker. I told him to step away she was in no place to give any consent. He was like come on you know she wants me. I was like then wait til she’s sober; Of course they didn’t like that.

But I’m used to having these conversations with men. Whether it’s telling someone to back off cause they don’t like you that way; which they always say “well let her tell me” and I have to say “they did your just not listening”. Or walking her home cause some guy is following her.

It’s always the same response, that I’m a cockblocker, not that they are in the wrong or not listening or making the woman feel unsafe.

These guys all felt entitled to their attention, to them, to what ever they thought they owed them. Your supposed to like them, your supposed to do what they say, your supposed to be flattered, you are nothing but what I need you to be. That’s the thinking even though they would be like nuh uh.

You only think like this because you have a daughter.

No I think like this because every woman, every girl, deserves to be treated with respect. She shouldn’t have to deal with men who see her as a lesser being. She should be able to chase her own dreams. Not be a slave to society and what it thinks should be her role.

They will try to keep you down cause the truth is one person can make a difference. They don’t want you to believe or understand that. It’s easier to control the masses if they swallow the pill that is subjugation. And it’s something that’s used in male or female to keep them in place.

We have gotten to the point where we hate for the sake of hating. Where views are more important than truth and where standing up for something makes you the outsider.

So no! I don’t believe what I believe because I have a daughter. I believe what I believe because it’s the right way to think.

”If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.”

 - Alexander Hamilton