Thankful and grateful

This year has been an awakening experience, actually the last three years has been impactful. Let me start with three years ago, I started dating a person after a divorce oh my Gosh he was so charming and helpful. We would have so much fun together, I could be myself and feel amazing. We dated for about three months and then boom, first red flag, he wanted me to go to a fast food restaurant and I said no, it was late and I wasn’t about to leave my home and get this man some food. Oh I shouldn’t have done that, because the verbal insult came, he begans to tell me that the reason I am single is because I am not submissive. I laughed and told him he was crazy and he could leave. He refused to leave and brushed the conversation off. Red flag number two, a few weeks later his phone gets cut off and he asked me to pay for it and he would pay me back. He didn’t pay me back in cash but he would take me out to dinner and get me cheap ass gifts, thinking it was something major. When he saw I was not into flashy things he tells me he is seeing someone else. I let him go and went on with my life, going on vacations and enjoying my family. Four months later who do I see on my social media love bombing me, telling me how much he loves me and he misses me. I fell for it, I was lonely and tired of being single so I take him back as his girlfriend, ( wrong move). We continue to have fun then I noticed every time we would have a great time he would start an argument over the smallest thing. I ended up getting pregnant and when we couldn’t do what we used to he would insult me, yell over the phone create things and accuse me of cheating all while I was pregnant. He behavior continued to get worse and I ended the relationship due to his cheating and finding out he still trying to get back with his exes. I was being used, abused verbally, emotionally and mentally. I eventually ended the relationship and had my son without him. This was just the beginning of more abuse, after our son was born he wanted to be a family only because he knew I wanted that, he played off of my wishes and emotions. He would be their whenever I called only to stroke his ego. He was in another relationship which was a carbon copy of me, I was getting strong I’m not allowing him to have control of me. I moved with my family because, I was so addicted to the thought we could actually work things out and my family was not having the abuse continue. I invited him to the place where I moved so he could see his son and he stayed two weeks and within that two weeks I wrecked my car and hurt myself in the process with him in the car , he kept provoking me that whole day especially because I set up an event to feed the homeless and I did it myself with the help of my family, it was a success. That night I decided to take him out with me and go dancing enjoy the night, I was so wrong. We argued on the way back and I ended up crashing my car. He tried tell the police to give me a ticket but it didn’t work. I am so thankful and grateful I can say I was protected throughout this journey of loving myself and finding the self love I needed. I am a psychology major, I would study his behaviors and found he was a true narcissist and has narcissistic personality disorder which is becoming a serious issue in today’s society. I am thankful that I survived and was able to heal and tell my story. God, angels, ancestors and all the universal energies has helped me to continue on my journey of self love and healing. I am thankful that I can be of service to those who have been in any abuse and help them heal as well. I am thankful I realized I deserve love, peace, happiness and the best quality of life. I thankful for the pain, because I know how to heal and keep my power. The pain awakened me, it made me see and ask myself, are you going to live unhappy, unhealthy, depressed or are you going to get your soul together and be who you were meant to be? I chose to take my power back and do things my soul loves. I am thankful I let him go with and pray that he can get healing if not in this lifetime hopefully in his next. I am thankful I am now aware of people’s energies and listen to my intention and believe in myself. I will always follow my own feelings as everyone one should. Codependent partnerships are disastrous, it is better if two whole people come together. If you can’t be alone with yourself don’t get in a relationship. No one can fulfill an empty cup, which means you can’t keep giving to someone who is not willing to reciprocate. I am thankful that I can fufill my own cup and I am happy being a being of light for myself and others. I now strive to promote healing within my family and change our generational cycles. Going through the abusive relationship I found out a lot of my family has also and this was generationally accepted, now I have the power to change the pattern and be the example for self love and true independence.

Continue to be thankful and grateful for the simplest things in life. Find the beauty in everyday life. Take a moment and just watch your surroundings, if you have children just watch them play, if you have a mate just stare at each other, if you have elders parents just watch them and listen take these moments and cherish them, be thankful for that second of beauty within your family. I am thankful for every second I can always create a happy memory with the ones I love. Enjoy yourself, be happy. Start to do things that are soulful, it will raise your vibration and you will become happy. Worry less, enjoy more.