Road To Freeing Yourself

Accepting you were abused is the first step to recovery. The mind must actualize the abuse and it may be hard to accept because it is traumatizing. Then you must forgive yourself for not understanding that the abuse was happening. Once you start to forgive yourself you begin to over stand the situation, because you can inner stand within yourself and stand up for who you are. The power of taking your power back is the sign of you recognizing your worth and, YES you are worthy. The next phase is dealing with guilt and shame, because of the treatment you allowed to be accepted, for you not know what you do when you are in the relationship with a toxic individual. Take the time to let everything sink in, and be gentle with yourself as you grow through this pain while in the process of healing. Now you begin to release the guilt and shame and send it back to the sender, but wait, pray for their healing as well. If the abuser actually heal is their choice it is none of your concern, continue to focus on you. Allow the experience to be a lesson to you and be grateful for it, and know you will not experience it again.

As you start your journey to loving yourself first you may experience a relapse, oh yeah you were addicted to a habit of toxic love and yes it is one hell of a drug just like crack. The abuser is always available just like any other toxic substance, just think for a second, is quality things available and so easily given? The answer is no, quality, you must wait for it , and work towards it. The problem of you accepting abuse is it could possibly be in your DNA make up. Abuse could be in your family history, most times it is a continuing family secret that no one discusses, in order to heal the gene being passed down from generation to generation. In a abusive relationship you are either the drug or the addict, and sometimes both the roles flip flop. You see, when you are the drug the abuser will use you until you don't get them high anymore. They know when your love is dwindling because they don't feel the chemicals being released anymore, and so they leave for a short time, they will be back though. The chemicals in your brain are depleted that is why when you come out of a toxic relationship you feel changed, because you are. Toxic energy will change you and how your brain functions some come out of toxicity with depression, ptsd , and other mental illness just as if they were really using an actual substance instead of a human. This is when you can become the addict, after one of you separate from each other, you may start to miss the abuser or they might reach out to you and start love bombing. Then you begin to reminisce of the great times you both shared which they add to the conversation, your brain is reacting the whole and starting to release a feel good chemical although you know it is wrong to even entertain them it feels so good. Toxic people use manipulation to get what they want so trust, they know what they are doing. You fall for the trap and take them back to realizing you are a straight up toxic love addict. Can we say relapse, all the work you were beginning to put into yourself, is and will be snatched from you, which will cause a total mental setback. The two toxic love birds will enjoy a day, a week, or maybe even a month of the honey moon phase then boom, gaslighting, fights and other toxic behaviors start all over again. You will start to question and second guess yourself and that is what the toxic individual wants you to do, do not play on their hamster wheel of destruction, when you know how you are being treated stand up for yourself . Never doubt yourself know what you know, even if you are wrong and when you are wrong apologize and move forward. The best way to get out is to have a support team that believes you no matter what, real friends and family who have your best interest at heart. You will come to find the toxic person will have a fake 30 min support team from strangers they just met by playing a victim in the situation, as they are looking for their next one. Always know you are not alone, share your story.