Tea, cookies, and candles

I, like many of us, wasn’t blessed with the superhero ability to fall asleep at the drop of a pin. Instead, I often lay awake restless, tossing and turning with stress and thoughts of impending work and life. I rarely have a standard bedtime; my evening routine fluctuates based on when the emails stop coming in, when my dog decides he needs to relieve himself, and when I find the always-brief moment of peace to eat dinner (or, on the all-too-rare occasion, actually cook).

No wonder my sleep is typically horrendous. My rest isn’t restful, and I fall prey to devastating tiredness, living life drained of energy and devoid of excitement.

I know I’m not the only one who has fallen prey to this vicious cycle.

But not this year. No, I’m finally making myself a resolution – one that I plan to hold as a promise to myself.

I’ve tried sleep resolutions before. Whether it’s trying to adhere to a strict time schedule, evening meditation, or even the two-hundred-dollar fragrance diffuser I bought two years back. This year, though, I’m switching my resolution up.

See the issue with these past resolutions is that they always felt like a chore. They weren’t something I looked forward to, but rather felt threatened by. If I don’t get to bed by X time, I’ve failed. If I don’t enjoy my five-minute meditation, I’ve failed. Or heaven forbid, if I forget to drop four lavender oil droplets in the diffuser and set it to a 3-hour cycle, I’ve – you guessed it – failed.

So I’ve spent some time reflecting during the few restful, peaceful, enjoyable evenings where I’ve gone to bed happy and woke up feeling blissful. And there have been three common denominators on these nights: a calming, warm cup of tea, followed by a sweet, delectable cookie, while I bask in the glow of a warming, scented candle.

This holy trinity brings me instant peace. It calms me to my very core, allows me to let the stresses and worries of the day slip away as I sip, chew, and lounge. I don’t feel beholden to arbitrary schedules that I can’t keep, or meditations that have never worked for me. And of course, not some piece of cheap overpriced plastic that spurts mist into the air.

Not to say these might not work for you. My point is, to create a resolution that you’ll be able to keep to, and one that will truly matter, you can’t follow the crowd of self-help experts and righteous Instagram posts.

You must follow your own inner compass.

You must figure out what your own holy trinity of peace and comfort is. The three things that you won’t feel pressured to do but will look forward to doing. That will provide you a sense of stability and serenity. These things cannot be difficult. They cannot be hard. They must come with ease, albeit deliberate planning and decision making. I must ensure I have tea bags and cookies in stock, and that my candle has ample wax left (which is why I always have 3 extras sitting around my house).

For me, this resolution has already proven effective. I’m sure it’s how the Queen of England feels when she simply must have tea and crumpets each afternoon, or her whole day is off. Or how Beyonce likely must have a massage each week, or she simply can’t perform.

I must have my tea, cookie and candle each night. Else, I will fall prey to the ever-present stresses of my life and the unpredictable bladder of my dog. Armed with my holy trinity, these have no chance at stopping me from achieving the peace and serenity that I deserve. And the deep, tranquil, and essential sleep that will soon follow.