Take the risk

As with every afternoon at 2pm, I made my way down to the Central Ave Java House from my 5th story office overlooking Central Ave. It was my daily ritual for my afternoon break to go get a cup of coffee and a slice of chocolate cake at the Java House. I needed a break from looking at the bland, sparsely decorated, white walls of the publishing house I worked at. It was a mundane existence, same thing day in and day out, filing papers, and keeping track of records for the editor, but I was continent with my position. By mid-afternoon I was looking forward to getting out of the office for a few min and so I was a daily regular at the coffee shop across the street. They all knew me and knew what I wanted so I never had to actually order, I just said my hellos to everyone, paid and picked my spot to sit and enjoy my afternoon treat.

As with most days I choose a small 2-person table near the windows that had a view of the front counter and the barista. She was like a shinning ray of joy, always had a smile that could light up even the darkest of days. She stood about five feet six inches tall, no more than 115 pounds, a natural brunette but the top layer of hair had been colored the yellowest of blonde like sunshine radiating light on top of a flower, her eyes shown the green like the blades of grass, her skin fair but with the slightest tenge of a tan, she had many individual tattoos on her arms, which only made me wonder where else she might be hiding tattoos, she only wore the slightest bit of make-up, which in my opinion she did not need at all. I had never seen anyone in my life that more embodied the concept of angelic beauty than her. I tried to not stare at her as I sat there slowly eating my slice of chocolate cake, but I rarely succeeded, for she was an iconic beauty in my eyes.

I finished up my afternoon snack, gathered up my coffee, tossed my trash in the receptacle, waved bye to the angel behind the counter, and made my way back to my office once again. Yes, today was just another day in my normal, boring life.

Later that week, on Friday, the one day of the work week where I didn’t get to see my living angel, due to it being her day off, the lady that did work was exceptional busy when I arrived. She motioned for me to take a seat and she brought me a coffee and slice a cake.

“Just pay before you leave when we are not so busy. I know you only have a few min and don’t want you wasting your time waiting in line.” She said as she set my items down in front of me.

“Thank you very much, that is really appreciated.” I had never asked, nor expected to be treated with such kindness. I went on to enjoy my afternoon ritual as the barista quickly dispatched the large line of people with great accuracy and attentiveness to each customer. When the line was complete and every customer had received their correct order, she came over and asked for my debit card so she could ring up my bill, again not something normal.

“You know that Amy finds you extremely attractive, right?” she asked upon returning with my slip to be signed.

“Wait…what?” was all I could stammer out.

“Yes, she says everyday she is here, how she can’t wait till you arrive each afternoon. Just thought you would like to know.” She collected my signed bill and returned to the counter to help an awaiting customer.

This information came as a complete shock to me as I am nothing special to look at, just a normal, average looking guy, as far as I am concerned. I don’t even compare to the goddess like beauty of Amy.

I spent the rest of the day, that Friday, pondering how is it possible that someone, anyone, could possibly find me attractive, much less enough so that they would mention it to others.

The weekend was as normal for me, hold up in my loft studio, alone, reading and trying to do some writing of my own. I was an aspiring author or at least I liked to think of myself that way, but my thoughts seem to always drift back to what I had been told on Friday.

I was an average looking man stood 5 feet 9 inches tall, salt and pepper hair, hazel green eyes, with a beard that showed my age with the streaks of white in it, I was well tanned due to the fact that I enjoyed sitting outside at the park across from my apartment to read. I was a bit overweight but not obese, stocky build, and stronger than I looked. I was 45 years old at the time and Amy looked no older than 23 or 24. As far as I was concerned there was no way that she could ever find me attractive in the least.

Anther thought permeated my thoughts that weekend though, something my older sister had old me a couple of decades ago.

“You will never succeed if you don’t try” My sister went on to explain that just because a woman seems intimidating to you, so she most likely seems that way to most men. So stop being like the weak, pathetic fools and step up and be a man. “You will never win her over by just standing here like a frog on a stump.”

I had always taken that advise to heart, so why hadn’t I this time? I decided right then and there that I was done sitting there like a frog and I would step up and be the man my sister would be proud of.

That Monday I stepped up to the counter and as Amy handed me my coffee and slice of chocolate cake I blurted out

“Will you go to dinner with me?” I felt the burning sensation of overwhelming fear shoot up my spine as the beads of cold sweat started to form on my brow. What if she just laughed at me? What if looked disgusted? What if …. But she didn’t, she looked at me with those unbelievably gorgeous eyes, and with a heart-warming smile and said “I’ve been waiting on you to ask. I would love to.”

Though there is 18 years between us in age, we had so much in common. We each knew from the very first moment that we were meant for each other. I guess you could say that the moral of this story is, in this thing we call life, stop letting fear and doubt cloud your decision to take a risk. As my sister would say

You can not succeed if you don’t try.

Go after what you want in life, be it in a relationship, a career, or goals you have set for your future. You will never succeed in life if you do not put forth the effort.