Lacuna (n) - An unfilled space, Gap
I'm going to get on your every last nerve until you stop judging me and you better believe it.
Speaking as a relationship writer who has become convinced that modern dating is toxic, I'll be the first to say that staying single is often a person's best bet. Simply put, we can't trust anyone to be the partner we need them to be, in order to make a relationship worth it.
I am a nineteen year old girl who is currently experiencing a heart break. Now many people will read this and say, "You don't even know what love is." My question is, who are you to tell me how I feel? My mother would always tell me, "Be the apple at the top of the tree and if someone is worthy enough, they will climb to the top." If you're smart enough, that metaphor will sit very well with you.
When having to give up the thing that makes you happy because it also causes you pain, it's like digging into your own skin and ripping your heart out of your chest. The thought of having to say goodbye is anxiety ridden thoughts. The heart and mind is racing against your own logic to make you say no. You'd rather deal with the pain and the suffering just to have a few messages sent throughout the week, to have that person be a part of your life in some form. You know it is bad for you, getting the advice from friends saying what you know is the truth. Yet, you still feel stuck between two places, deal with grief after saying goodbye, something that will only last for a short time, or continue with the lasting pain. That person has thoughts and emotions for someone else, you can feel them being happy for their crush. However, despite your crush you have to say goodbye, keeping in contact with them is tearing your soul up. You want them to be happy, but you cannot be there to see their happiness. You tell them the truth of why you are saying goodbye and then remove the conversation, unknowing if they saw the message or not. It's for the best you say, the pain will eventually go away. You want them inside of you, on top of you, holding you more than you want the living sustenance of food and water. Move on, get better, find someone new who is going to reply back to you more than just once or twice a week, who feels the same things for you. One day, hopefully, someone will come along and show you what you deserve in your short life. Although, what if someone doesn't come along, what if loneliness is the only thing that will stay forever? Sure a lot of this loneliness is up to you, but when struck with the anxiety of a million thoughts, all negative, how can one go on?
So I know many of us single or taken see so many couples and romance movies/stories and feel as though there is this “pressure” to be in love or in a relationship. Well, I’m here to squash that idea. As you go through different stages of your life, especially in high school and college, you watch TV series where high school students are focused on trying to get with a guy or trying to get with a girl; because of this, we put so much time and effort into trying to be with someone and fall in love. Since a young age, we are exposed to the realities of how important it is to be in love with someone or have a boyfriend or girlfriend. But these shows don't have much content where the moral of the story is being single or focusing on self-goals. Not only TV series but all media outlets encourage this idea of being in a relationship or being in love, in books, in songs, even magazines where you see new about celebrities, most of the time it is around some subject of love. I myself, have been a victim of this, listening to the lyrics of love songs and wishing that I can find the man of my dreams and be madly in love. Or that Ill go out somewhere and fall in love with someone just from the sight of them across a room. When in reality I was just living in a fantasy world, my expectations of love was unrealistic, and I should have put more time and effort into bettering myself and figuring out what my goals are, and not worry about boys or love.
Being single has two sides. To some is a gift, to others, it is a curse. The question is do you see being single as a curse or a gift? There are many things that one can do single that one cannot do while in a relationship. In the following points, I will explain how to crush being single and get the aunt off your back about not being in a relationship.
I have always been the single friend. The character that you see in movies and television shows, the girl who can never find a boyfriend, never seems to have her act together, often portrayed as the partier, the drinker, the girl who is always coming home in the morning from a one night stand because she can’t get any real dates. Except I’m the single friend who likes it and chooses it.
Let's face it, the love life can get pretty complicated:
They say being in love with one person while you’re dating someone else is wrong. I agree with this statement, but I also have done that very thing. People were right; I couldn’t decide what I wanted. Between you and him, I obviously chose the worse partner. But this is about the conventionally better partner, you.
Second to how old are you, "why are you single?" is the least favorite question I get asked constantly. What is the obsession with relationships I often wonder. Truth be told, being single should be worn like a badge and honoured. Instead it seems, it’s frowned upon, like it’s a bad thing. Yes, I know those people in relationships sometimes wish to be single, but the desire soon passes at the thought of being alone.