America's 243rd birthday was only 156 minutes ago and I spent the day thinking about you, and moments you've felt completely and utterly free, and I wonder if I cross your mind. It tears me apart to know we'll probably never speak again and all I can do is write poetry specifically for you in hopes you see it one day. I don't think any of the words I could possibly have are enough. I've realized by now that I may have put too much pressure on you, and made you feel as though you were in some sort of metaphorical shackles, and every beautiful thing you've ever said was to appease me in some way, and that's never what I wanted for you. I understand now, when you say that you're supposed to be hurt and broken by life, but that's the paradoxical beauty of life isn't it? Life is the knot that's in my throat, but it's also the euphoric feeling I get from waking to the morning light pouring through the window, refreshing my soul.
1. I was waitressing, he came in all the time with his friends. Him and I became friendly, played jokes on each other, he grew to be one of my favorite regular customers.
1. "I met my fiancée by offering her my umbrella when it was raining, and we walked through Washington square park at night together." [via]
What really is love? Such a small word with such big meaning. But do we really know what it is? Is there really such a thing of unconditional love, or loving someone too much or not enough? Who is the person that determines if the love is true or not? Is it the church, your parents, social media, news, internet, or random strangers?
i dream of us all the time.
It was in that space, that little gap of nothing, between yesterday and tomorrow, where I finally found myself. My peace. The place that put the dreams together to show me the way. The place where there was no pain, no memories, no hate, anger, or loss. It was in that space where I could breathe.
Love is between two people who show affection to each other. Is love really true today? With marriages becoming divorces, and lovers cheating on each other left and right,is true love dead? Is there hope for two people who truly love each other. Is a hook up a possibility of a relationship? Well for me I have had several relationships that did not work out. But I loved each man in a different way. My number is 21 relationships. But really you do not know this. Shh!
It was exactly 12:15 on the 10th August 2020 when I realised, with tears streaming down my cheeks that I love you. You see every moment that I spend with you, I cannot help but think if I die now, I will die happy. It is a strange thing to say and an even stranger thing to write down, but it is my truth. You see when we are together all the ticks stop, all the voices and rats inside my head cease to be there anymore, because all I am focused on is your beauty. So pure and unadulterated. My brain slows as I watch your hair rustle in the wind or admire your golden eyes and olive skin. When I embrace you, my nostrils are filled with your familiar scent which makes my hairs stand on end. You see every time I write about wanting a partner, I have realised I have been writing about you. Ever since we first met. Because everyone else is nothing compared to you, I am a rabbit in the headlights when I first see you and when you leave, I feel the infinite loneliness return. You see when I say I want to die when I am with you, it is not in a I am in so much pain kind of way. It is more a I want to spend every second of my life in your company kind of way.