Surrounding Yourself with those True to You

You never realise how important it is to surround yourself with the right people, the sort of people that are there to support you through anything, to help you achieve anything. There are so many people who will say they will be by your side no matter what, but when it comes down to it, they’re nowhere to be seen. And unfortunately, these people are everywhere. They’re not fake per say. Many people are genuinely nice people, but when things get rocky, they just don’t know what to do, so they do nothing.

It’s at these times when you’re able to see who you do need in your life, who you need for support and who will support you.

I found out the hard way myself. I was in school when I first started getting sick. Second half of year 10 I barely went to school at all. I couldn’t, I was stuck in bed. When I was there, I was slow, exhausted, some days I barely lasted the day. I thought my friends were supportive, they would always make sure I was alright throughout the day when I was able to make to school, I would receive the occasional message while I was at home to see how I was. I generally thought all was good. Until I found out they were openly talking to other groups about me, saying how they thought I was faking it just to get out of school. Little did they know, whenever I was able to, I would be sitting at home doing the school work so as I wouldn’t fall too far behind, I kept in contact with my teachers each day to stay up to date.

I overheard a few people speaking about it, which made me sceptical.

It wasn’t until I went to hospital with clots that I realised they really weren’t there for me. They didn’t visit, they barely even spoke to me. It was all my older family friends who were there for me. They came in for hours at a time, bringing a deck of cards. I was in there for two weeks, and not once did I go a day without having a visitor. However, only one person of my group came in to see me during this time, and that was because her mother wanted to come. She sat in the corner of the room as her mother was up by my side talking with me. She barely spoke two words to me.

When I got back to school, everyone was acting as normal. In truth, I cracked it. I definitely went way overboard, but hell! They needed to hear it. They eventually were open with me and admitted they thought I was lying about it all, it was only until I went to hospital that they started taking my condition seriously. It hurt. But I still forgave as I didn’t really have much place else to go.

From then on, I knew full well not to rely on them, I was never really able to get close with anyone at school. My group had made everyone believe I was lying about everything for the first year of my condition.

Once we finished school, it didn’t take long until I fell apart from them. I’ve barely spoken to them, only when I see them at work on the occasion. However, they all are still strong together, I always knew I wasn’t really apart of the group, eve before I fell ill.

When you have the right people in your life, by your side, you'd be surprised by what you can do. it's truly an incredible feeling knowing that no matter what happens, you will always have someone to go to. You feel as though you can do anything, and so you have the willpower to go and do it. You so much more as yourself, you don't have to watch what you do, tiptoe around. You can live your life the way you want to, and it feels amazing!

I have an amazingly supportive group, close family friends and of course family. I have someone in my life I couldn’t be more thankful for. I now know who to surround myself with, and it has made my life so much easier, so much happier. I am so grateful for the things lupus has taught me, and its the little things such as opening my eyes to what’s going on in front of me that’s helped alter my life.

Thanks for reading!

Court xx