Staying Together Post University
Advice for couples after graduating from university
The time has come, you are leaving your university bubble and entering the big wide world. Along with the fears of how long it will take before you get your first big time job or moving back in with mom and dad, you also now must consider where your relationship is heading.
Whether you have lived together in the same dorms, apartment or five minutes from each other for the past couple of years, things are about to change. If you are from different towns, cities or countries, you will now be looking to return there while you figure out your next move (if you haven’t already got something in place).
Perhaps you will have to consider undergoing some distance while you can both land a job, or need some time to save to be able to get a place together. Whatever it may be, communication and honesty is about to become the key to your relationship.
The first thing you should know is, if you want your relationship to work, then it will. Simply put, the success to your relationship will depend on how much effort both sides are willing to commit. If one person is willing to move to the other side of the world for you, yet you are unsure if you are ready to settle, then the likelihood is that you aren’t going to be able to make each other happy. The important thing to remember post university is that you need to be on the same page. Sitting down and discussing your options as a couple before you leave university is a smart thing to do.
If you can’t afford your own place yet or if you don’t think you are ready for that step then you can come up with ways to still see each other for a sufficient amount of time per week that will both allow you to chase your dreams and continue a sturdy relationship with one another. Come up with things such as regular date nights that happen once a week, to secure that time together.
Finishing university is a daunting time in your life. You think that once you have this diploma in your hand that jobs will be throwing themselves at you. The harsh reality is that you now need to work 10 times harder than what you did during your degree to look better than the candidate next to you and the other 100 candidates who have applied for the same role.
Leaving university can be a stressful time, if you are lucky enough to have left university with a partner, then you have someone to fall back on. Use this as your support system, someone who cares about your future and someone who wants you to succeed. If you get a few knockbacks, don’t take it out on them. Cry to them, moan to them, feel angry and let out your feelings to them, having someone you trust that much will take away a lot of that frustration that you are now carrying.
As well as it being a stressful time, leaving university also an exciting time! You still have the world at your feet. You still have time to take jobs that make you realise this is not what you want to do, time to experience, time to travel and time to explore. Leaving university makes you feel powerful and also lost at the same time. But just because you have no idea what to do next with your life, doesn’t mean you have to leave your relationship behind.
The best part about falling in love with someone from your university days is that you can continue the journey of life with that same person. They have seen your bad side, they have seen your stressed exam side and now, they can watch you succeed and grow in life. If this is the person who you know wants you to reach for your goals and push yourself to be the best you can be, then don’t let them go just because you have left university.
University is just the beginning of your relationship, the person you were during that time will soon become a different person. But, that’s the progression of life and who better to share it with than the person who was there from the start?
If neither of you feel ready to start your careers, save up for a few months then find a cheap way to go backpacking for a year. If you both want to settle, get those full-time jobs and see each other when you can. Whichever route you choose to take, you will find one that is right for your relationship. What is right for one couple, is the complete opposite for another.
If you met someone from another country, go tackle long distance. Keep living your life but find a way to stay connected as much as you can. Visit each other when possible, look at future visa opportunities. Communicate with one another to see what you both want and what you both envision as a couple.
Graduating from university is a special time in your life, if you have found your soulmate during this time, don’t let them go, life has just begun!